Blooms, beats & the bits in between

this is a kind of an ending...

2010-01-27T16:23:00.004+02:00

About 12 months ago, I started this blog and I'm sad to say, I didn't even manage to post at least once every month... And now, it's been eons since I last blogged. I've been busy (of course). Too busy to even contemplate formally ending the blog. But also too busy keeping a rather large manufacturing business moving along in pretty trying times.

So this post is unfortunately not marking a new return - with gusto - to blogging. I tweet, a lot and that seems to suffice. So, I shall post on the very odd occasion, and comment every now and then...

But this posts is a kind of an ending. Not totally, 'cause that would be like throwing out a favourite t-shirt. This is more like, using it less than before, so it can stay in my life for when I need it most.

Ciao
FJ

Dear investigating officer

2009-10-27T15:07:00.004+02:00

Dear Investigating Officer

I hate to bother you as you worry about whatever it is you worry about, as you tuck into your Kenflucky Flied Chiggen. I don't mean to ask you, for the eight - or is it now the ninth time - if you have managed to even get off your chair and engage with us.

I'm not sure what the progress of my THREE cases with you is. The last time I checked you told me that unless I know "who the culprit is, we can not give it to an investigating officer" after you closed the first case. I know the second time you assumed that the fingerprint division was on off for the weekend, so the first chance you had at getting hard evidence was spoiled because you decided that it could wait. *sigh*

In all the spare time I have waiting for you, I though I might take the trouble to find out the meaning of the word "investigation" for you because I believe that the trainers at the Police College may well have forgotten that in your glossary of terms. But as I did my research I discovered what the problem is. I now think I can definitively declare it. You see Mr Officer, and investigation is defined as "the work of inquiring into something thoroughly and systematically". I think systematic and thorough are well covered by the tedious protocol you use to take my statement. It's the work that gets you, isn't it? The seriousness of the crime just does not warrant the effort does it?

You see, Mr Investigating officer, I was under the impression that my hard earned tax money meant that you are actually a public servant, and you should serve me and the rest of those hurt directly or indirectly by the criminal activities around us. I wonder, will someone have to die before you start to investigate?

Anyway - I'm done talking to a disembodied voice on the other side of the phone. I just thought I would write a little public letter - for my friends (who also contribute to your salary). Tomorrow, I will bring the witnesses to you. Maybe you can do your job. Maybe you can't.

Right now - I don't think you give a fuck about me. But I also think you couldn't be arsed about the people that would definitely suffer if we decided to say: "To hell with it - we're going to rather employ the fruits of our labour elsewhere!" Your failure to care just a little bit, Mr Officer, might just mean that one day soon, the 130 people or so that work here with me will no longer be able to feed, clothe and house the over 300 people that depend on them!

So, thanks for nothing - so far! We hope that we can crack the case ourselves.

Blooms that sould beat (some sense into you!)

Mulberry madness

2009-10-21T16:16:00.005+02:00

I must just tell you. Shiny gave me a blog award... because I grow flowers. It is my first award so I am honoured. But there was no logo for me to load into my sidebar for all to see, so I can't make up my mind if it was on of those activity "meme's" couched as an award, or a real award on it's way in the post for proud display on my mantle piece in amongst my Super Hero figurine collection.

I would put it next to all my other trophies, but the only other award I've got in my entire life had to be returned to the club I represented (much like Shiny's hurdling trophy) so it could be dished out to the next seasons 'most improved player'.

In any event, it is with a bow and a flourish that I gratefully accept the award. Thank you, thank you... I'll be signing autographs a little later. I may even get to the task associated with winning when Shiny actually allows those of us who care to post the award in their sidebar to go fetch it. ;)

But, I'm here now, posting this post in the hope that some of my former readers will come flocking back to reward my desperate attempts at seeking attention. Well, that's not entirely true - I'm not desperate yet, but I certainly don't mind a little attention.

A Facebook friend, the fabulous "Mr C.D!" made a comment the other day about how much he hates Mulberry trees. Visions of splattered berries and colourful bird poop deposits on what should be the shiny surfaces of his car sprang to mind. How irritating I thought. But for every challenge, there must be a solution! These are a few sprang that to mind:

1. Park in another spot, thereby avoiding the berries splattering from the tree above as well as the large numbers of birds generously lending an inadvertant hand to seed dispersal.
2. Install a scare-crow onto the car's aerial. It's just about Halloween and that might pass as sane for a week or two at least.
3. Spend all his free time harvesting the offending mulberries into a selection of woven baskets, complete with red and white checked lining, to be sold at the local county fair or turned into fifteen years worth of Mulberry Jam (jello for the few American readers who may peruse this blog on occasion)!

Since option three is the one with the most commercial potential, I thought I might even do a little more research on the matter and forward him pruning tips for the off season and a number of delightful mulberry jam based recipe's to help him market the fruits of his labour (and tree).

I've not listed Mulberry trees for the production of silkworm cocoons, because unless your kids are working a sweatshop in your garage after school, lets face it, shoe boxes full of worms pooing all over a fresh harvest of Mulberry leaves are pretty dull at the best of times. And all that silk production will of course not deliver the desired result: Removing the offending berries!

Alas after this stroke of sheer genius, I have to admit that I have now decided to hate Mulberry trees too! You see, we have a Mulberry tree standing close to our office. It's full of fruit and the kids on the farm that normally eat from it seem to have wizened up to their incredible laxative powers and have steered well clear of the blasted 'boom' with as wide a berth as they could muster.

I don't park near the tree and the proliferation of Indian Minah birds in the vicinity keeps most potential berry loving birds far far away. However, this wonderful tree, laden with fruit - that has so far not offended even the most precious of car-bonnet-paint-aficionado's - has spawned a gazillion miggies (tiny winged flies) that hover in rather large but barely visible numbers around the offices!

Yes - these little miggies - duck and dive around our heads all day long, oblivious to the incredible distraction they cause. They swoop so close to my head they just about chart an uninvited course up my nose, or try find the shortest route from one side of my head to the other, through the ear canal. Contrary to belief, much like Amerigo Vespucci and Chris Columbus did not find the wonders of the East Indies by sailing west, it is not a feasible route.

The worst however, is when they fly into the outer reaches of my peripheral vision. Remember now that these insects are very very small and can only be readily observed at close range. Although silent, their presence is very disturbing - which means, like all irritants that fly around ones head, they must pay the ultimate price. But, as any insect worth a little more than its weight in salt should, they employ terribly effective evasion strategys. These blighters do not fly in straight lines. They barely even fly gaily forward if you must know. In fact being so small, they are deceptively quick and are rather difficult to swat with naked hands or whatever other tools may be at hand at any given moment. To my point though...

I had quite a few meetings today, and during all those meetings with all manner of nice and important people, I found myself swatting and clapping at these near invisible creatures. And then, of course, sometimes they weren't even there! I mean, you can only apologise so many times before one starts calling for men in white coats and leather jackets with freakishly long sleeves. In retrospect - I can only imagine how freaking spazzed out I looked! I know, you haven't heard the word spazz since at least 1986, but I used it now and that's that. I can not apologise any more for using the word 'spazz' than I can for swatting fruitlessly at fruit eating bugs.

And at the root of it all: I still hate Mulberry trees!

Blooms... galore

2009-10-17T10:52:00.006+02:00

Well - my affinity for posting these days has been totally usurped by the convenience of Tweeting. I can update all and sundry (including Facebook) about my comings, goings and share opinions and links etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!

CV and I have been very very busy of late because of changes in our work environment and lot's has happened since I last posted about daily life. The most significant being appointed a Director at Rolf Flowers.

On the personal front, I went to my first ever PRIDE event with CV and other friends and we had a gay old time! And for CV's birthday, we enjoyed a thoroughly colonial picnic at the Johannesburg Country Club, as one does as one approaches forty. He got oh so many gifts... I don't mind saying I'm a little jealous....

To my point though - before I find myself digressing too much. I love to employ my creative side from time to time. We've been working on getting a Rolf Flowers website LIVE fairly soon, but there's bee a lack of pictures. So yesterday afternoon I spent a whole lot of time taking pictures. If I dare say so myself, many of them are absolutely stunning! There's plenty more pictures than the few loaded here, I just wanted to share a little of what's makes me very very excited. And so without further ado, please see how my job definitely can colour ones life...

MARVELous News?!?

2009-09-01T04:33:00.004+02:00

Good gawd.... it's been more than a month since my last post. I make no excuses for my sudden disappearance save to say it's been a tumultuous 30 odd days on the work front with massive change and a dramatic effect on my day to day existence as a consequence.

Today's post however is inspired by what I consider a disappointing piece of news that I picked up on Twitter, via Alyssa Milano (who's gracing our DSTV screens once again in re-runs of Who's the Boss on Series Channel on Thursday nights!)...

MARVEL comics has been bought by Disney!

Their announcement came out in that matter of fact way... with details of share deals and buyout structures and the strategic importance of being entertainments leading players, blah blah, blah - whatever!

What's the problem? They're not so different one might think.... both appear to be aimed at kids and both seem relatively innocuous. Somehow though, I think Marvels clever social commentaries and the 'liberated view' of challenging moral questions will silently disappear into a softer more dare I say it - 'conservative' form of entertainment.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of both. Some of the greatest animated features the world has ever seen have been crafted by the Disney creative. And being a sucker for digital animation, the Pixar association in particular made me revel in the revival of the Disney brand in the 90's.

But whilst Disney has always presented wholesome family fare, Marvel's appeal was that is was packed with fantastic serialised superhero stories loaded with Kapow!! There's the certain peril of cities or worlds, loads of action, flying, fighting! And then there's the stories of women and men concealing their secret identities and being unable to find and keep a hold of true love due to that. There's the angst of being different but rising above potential ridicule and ostracisation to save the day.

Will Marvel comics retain that edge that's made it so appealing to me and millions of others at it's core. Or are some of those things that attracted me to the world of superheros be lost forever?

If some of their star writers start bailing, know that the writing is on the proverbial wall.

I wait with bated breath.

Joburg Winters have their own beauty... really

2009-07-27T14:44:00.007+02:00

Rambler had a little gripe about the cold and I commented saying it had just given me an idea for a post. I know some people that laugh at our gripes about Gauteng's cold. Minus 5 degree centigrade is but a walk in the park for them. My sister who lives somewhere in the Midwestern United States sends us her winter updates of minus Fahrenheit temperatures (something closer to -20 deg Centigrade) and multiple feet of snow!!!

A couple of years ago we also had a spot of snow.

In truth it was more of a very thick frost and bitterly cold. But every year we have frost out at the farm. Some years it's from as early as late March. This year we were 'lucky'. ANd I use that terms as reservedly as one can. The early winter was actually quite mild, until a few weeks ago. Then a nasty little cold front came trundling through and quashed my dream of a blamy winter...

I got an SMS the other day informing that the writer had seen frost... I assumed this was his first time seeing frost this winter and howled with laughter. I'm usually out and about long before sunrise, so I've been seeing frost since May. Granted, it's farm land, in a valley - which makes cold and frost a certain fact of winter mornings. It's easier walking through the greenhouses on winter mornings though. Our climate control systems try to maintain temperatures of 18 degrees Centigrade ably assisted by up to three coal fired boilers. Walking between them is little more challenging.

Winter on the highveld is a dusty affair. The air is often thickened by the smoke of hectares worth of veld fires. But the charred remains of some cows unfinished grazing land makes for a wonderful sight in the morning. Our blackened landscape is momentarily cast as a winter wonderland decked in a wafer thin layer of dazzling white ice. When I walk around outside to the irrigation dams, the tiny crystals of frozen dew glisten in the first rays of sunlight catching my eye time and time again. It makes my heart sing a tiny joyful song. Ok - the joyful song is bit of a stretch because my brain is usually as numbed by the cold as my toes and nose are - but you get the picture.

Late afternoons, with their impossibly rapid sunsets are often hazy. The dust, thrown up by the wheels of numerous trucks and cars on the dirt roads around us, hangs thick in the air - leaving my windscreen hopelessly dusty and me slightly dis-vantged. But it makes for the most incredible sunsets. I'm often greeted by crimson horizons that fade into a darkening bronze haze on the way home in the afternoon, and so long as I stay within the confines of my heated bakkie (pick-up) it really can be a beautiful sight.

But it's nearly August and at the back of my mind, even firmly in the grips of winters gnarled, dry grasp, there's the certainty of Spring, now palpably around the corner. New growth is being primed in the trees and veld around me. Within a few weeks there will be spots of colour as the first brave blossoms peep from the branches of various indigenous veld trees and the fruit orchards. Fields of corn will be planted by farmers on their enormous tractors and the germinating seedlings will transform the tilled red earth of those barren fields into endless rows of tiny green sprouts that will gain inches weekly, eventually obscuring my now panoramic horizon view to a few short meters before being met by a wall of fresh green growth.

Until then of course - I'll battle through, looking for those spots of beauty on bitterly cold mornings, hoping we're not blasted by too many frigid winds that make the sunlight deceivingly inviting.

Ciao for now.

A bit about meme...

2009-07-15T08:05:00.003+02:00

Thanks to Allie for INSISTING that I complete this meme. :0)}

Quite honestly, it looks like it's going to be a little more difficult to complete than doing a web surf for topical links to post - but fortunately less so than something requiring more than a little research and fact checking.... Anyhoo..... Here goes.

I am: a reasonable, logical but passionate guy.... I think

I have: a distinct dislike for cold weather and short days.

I know: more than I think sometimes, and far to little at others.

I don't think: therefore I am... Hmm, somehow that doesn't sound right - hehe. Seriously though, I don't think about the consequences of my actions sometimes. But mostly - I actually over think.

I want: my chance already!

I have: a good enough memory to know that I've answered this already!

I like: Ice cream and dark chocolate... no actually I love those things. I like coffee.

I dislike: brussels sprouts and condensed milk... and no - that's not in combination you silly you - I dislike them both - equally.

I hate: oh - I didn't see this... Scrap the point above. I hate brussels sprouts! Condensed milk can stay as a dislike.

I dream: but I'll be dammed if I can remember them

I fear: angle grinders and high voltage power lines

I am annoyed: when people can't see the logic of a thing - even if it's explained again and again and again... argh!

I crave: (cigarettes) occasionally, but not so much anymore.

I usually: eat breakfast before showering in the morning.

I search: incessantly for answers to things I want to understand

I hide: most of my fears rather well. (I think)

I wonder: why I like to sing songs that don't exist

I know: I've answered this already!

I just can't help: going gaga for superheroes and superhero movies unless they're really really bad.

I regret: sheesh - nothing jumps out at me - so I guess, I regret nothing - YET.

I love: CV, more than rainbows, teddy bears and cu... oops that's an 'in joke' - never mind.

I can't live without: water, food and fresh air and... mah man

I try to: drive conscientiously, but am not all that good at it.

I care about: CV

I enjoy: a good laugh and listening to the layers in music

I don't care: about personal wealth too much - so long as I can live in some comfort

I always: want tell my CV how much I love him...

I never want to: have to use and angle grinder. I'll rather pay someone to do that.

I rely on: people around me to be sincere.

I believe: what I believe... and some might call that not believing. But it takes some faith for me to 'not believe' too.

I dance: when I'm 'cheerful' or when the musics good. Even if I make an ass of myself!

I sing: to our dogs. Ok mostly I sing to Lola, Pablo seems uninmpressed - at work - in the shower - with the radio - hmm - come to think of it - I sing a lot. I may not be good, but I sing anyway.

I argue: passionately if I know what I'm talking about and I have a view to express

I write: because I think I can... never mind what anyone else thinks.

I win: is this a trick question? I never enter anything - so I guess I can't win then, or can I??

I loose: lots of little things but hardly ever my keys, mobile phone or wallet

I wish: I wasn't so paranoid about if my car is locked when I walk away from it in the a parking lot. I lock it about 6 times, every time... argh!

I listen: If I think I need to.

I don't understand: why it takes so long for my computer to boot up in the morning

I'm scared of: angle grinder blades spinning off the grinder and causing serious harm.

I forget: a lot of things... all the time. OH!! It's the 15th today... I nearly forgot.

Hope you had fun reading about meme. If you want to hijack this and do it yourself - go for it. No nominees from my side - I'm one of the last in the 'group' to do it.

CIAO4NOW

Real life journalled... for anyone who's interested

2009-07-10T15:29:00.004+02:00

'Tis been very very very very cold of late. This morning it was a frigid -5 deg C outside one of our greenhouses! Blegh. Even when it's that cold I find cause to sing, all be it the lyrics go: "My toes are froze - and so is my noze." (to a source tune I can no longer recall). And now, to top it all off, the daytime highs are reeeeedicewlouly high. It's over 25 deg today. I can't plan a workday wardrobe around this!!! THIS IS CRAZY STUFF!!!!

Anyway, I've been so bleedingly hectic the past couple of weeks that I didn't get a chance to squeeze in even a 'cheat post' last week.

There's that saying: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'

I'm reclaiming that: 'When life gives you curveballs, somethings gotta go out of the park'.

I can't say too much right now other than things are a tad topsy turvy at work at the moment, but I have both an uphill battle and a rapidly strengthening strategic position developing. So the out of the park phrase, for those not familiar with baseball, refers to either going out (a biiiig negative) or of course the famous home run... I think I'm on the verge of a potential home run - but I've yet to have the ball pitched at me.

There's also the gathering pace of mine and CV's wedding plans. We've appointed our best men. And they've been so briliant already!! Tomorrow evening we're off to confirm our booking at the venue (I hope). The venue is our mutual favourite and it would be a huge shame not to get things on the go there. We love you CD!!!

To day has flown by like a busy Monday - but TGIF!!!! All I need to do now is leave my office on time for a change so I can get the shops to get a haircut and buy some sorely missed moisturiser. Highveld winters wreak havok on my skin!

With any luck - I'll be able to find a gap to post something deep and thought provoking in the milieu of my 'goings on' pretty soon. Otherwise it'll be the odd blob - now and then.

Ciao4Now

Friday mumblings

2009-06-26T14:50:00.005+02:00

It's a busy line-up this weekend:

There's a smashing 3rd place play off against a bunch of Spaniards. I believe Wimbledon is on the go, which is also smashing I'm told...

I have a dinner this evening with one of CV's old school buddies and his partner of ten years... I'm really looking forward to that - ;0)!

Then there's my future-sister-in-law's engagement party (ring in with strains of Zorba the Greek, whilst dodging breaking crockery and back light with Uzo). Whoop-whoop! or is that Opah!! Anywayy, what would mumbling on this Friday be without mentioning Michael Jackson, the thrilling moon walker who re-shaped pop, by crossing over between black and white (musically and otherwise) in the late seventies and early eighties...

I was browsing the worlds news channels gauging 'the wires' on the passing of MJ. I could lay on a homage - but there are plenty of obituaries already doing the rounds. What can I say other than: Sheesh - he was ONLY 50!!! His music is definitely a part of the soundtrack to my life. And, me thinks in many ways he really was a tortured soul. RIP-MJ.

And whilst bumbling through those sites I found this sight about a guy who does art (at £1000 a pop mind you) on egg cartons..... It really is amazing. If anyone knows this artist personally, please let him know I have a room that still needs an egg carton treatment. I'll supply the cartons...

And on that wacky note. I bid thee a happy (and gay if you're that way inclined) weekend!

Ciao4Now

PS - my goodness, blogging's much easier when you're playing a hyperlinking continuity writer... lol!

a cause to pause

2009-06-24T16:58:00.000+02:00

My friends mother passed away yesterday. It was sudden and somewhat unexpected and their grief is palpable.

One of their Facebook status updates was: 'never again is such a long time'. It's an eloquent expression of the vacuum her mothers passing will leave. I've never felt that kind of vacuum before - and as I read her status update for the first time I felt deeply for her in her time of loss. I've been given cause to pause.

Today, I'm saddened for those who have just lost someone near and dear. Although I never met her, I'm deeply aware that she must have been a remarkable mother. I know this, because my friends all seem to express themselves in a way that is so genuine; from the heart. And when they smile, you can see something in their eyes - a 'goodness' in their souls.

It seems to me, that it is only through the deep love of a parent, that these qualities can emerge so consistently in so many people all at once. And even though she is gone today - her legacy of love will be felt through them and passed onto their children and their children's children.

I woke up this morning and was distracted from the small things I'm sweating. When my own mortality rises like a spectre of the future before me, I'm mindful of how brief our time here is in the grand scheme of things. I can't help but wonder where I will be and what I will have achieved when I go? Will I have found my dream and lived it?

And then I must ask, does any of that matter? What good is it to have lived the dream or scaled seemingly insurmountable heights to achieve 'greatness'?

Surely it is that the lives of those we've touched are the better for it? Surely we have not lived unless we have truly loved and been loved. It's those connections of love that have the most meaning for those who are left behind.

If that is the mark of a life well lived, then it seems hers was: A life well lived.

"There's a big difference between being gay and being a fag"

2009-06-19T12:13:00.015+02:00

With roughly a week remaining before a 40th anniversary I didn't know too much about until a few weeks ago, I thought it fitting to write on something that I've been mulling over. This post was first conceived on 29 May, 2009 after an acquaintance posted a status update that was 'a last straw' of sorts....

I've never really felt truly exposed to rampant homophobia before. You know the kind that might make the news because a violent assault and/or a gang rape left the victim, at the very least, severely traumatised but often comatose or dead. I've heard of these things but tend; shall we say; to 'shelve' them with all the other bad stuff that goes on around us.

I live in a country ridden by some extremely violent and senseless crimes and so, for me, acts of pure hatred tend to get lumped together. Make no mistake though, gay bashing, when it is reported results in the same gut wrenching reaction as when I hear about babies being raped and murdered. To date though, they remain in some sort of disconnected otherworld - because I have never been directly affected by such violence.

There are many levels of homophobia, in the same way there are many levels of sexism, racism and other forms of bigoted thinking.

I've recently been becoming more aware of my gay self within a 'straight' society. And whilst I do prefer to think of myself first as human rather than gay, I am never the less in a state of heightened awareness of my differentness within it. Which gets me to the kernel incident that got me into this post:

When Manchester United recently lost the UEFA Champions League. The aforementioned acquaintance posted a Facebook status update: "...Barcelona is a bunch of fags and we probably lost because of the distraction of them touching our boys' ........"

I saw this and was compelled to comment: "hmmm.... I prefer to call 'em Dirty Spaniards?"

Her reply was a quick apology including: "there's a big difference between being gay and being a fag", which has now become the title of this post.

I don't mean to pick on her directly. This is not the first time I've heard this kind of argument.

I was recently floored when straight counterpart used the word faggot to describe a florist we know.

As with this or many other offensive words for all manner of people, most would just apologise and retract the statement - knowing they've crossed that line of political correctness. Fortunately, I was able to gain some insight because of our relationship and that I was able to turn my battle brain off. I had to question his thinking.

His response was astounding: "I've got no problem with you and gays like you, but I've got a problem with faggots!"

"WTF!!", I thought - not quite aloud. I was angered by what he said. But reining in my emotions, I retorted, "But I am a 'faggot'. I may not be the most effeminate gay guys around, but - I'm still very much a gay man." My emotions now momentarily shelved, I requested more insight.

He responded along the lines: "You're still like, a man. Fags are those queeny limp wristed types... It's like they're putting on a show or something. They weren't all faggoty before they came out - but now they running around like men who wanna be women?" His logic was there is a difference between being gay and being a faggot!

Even though I was still offended, I had to stand down as I contemplated his response.

We call carry prejudices. I know I do - even though I fight them. Just how pervasive is this type of thinking? In this scenario, is what was said 'homophobia' at all? Is it bare faced bigotry? Or is it an essentially 'harmless' expression about a stereotype.

For those who have met me, I think you'll know that I generally did not relate well to particularly effeminate men. That's changed somewhat since I've met some truly fabulous but genuine individuals. I won't lie though, in my core I just can't reconcile extreme femininity and transgerderism within myself.

I discussed this with CV the other day, because I didn't know how to express the multitude of emotions I was feeling about this. As the discussion evolved, it became clear to me. To be uncomfortable with people we don't fully understand is a totally human reaction and it should be embraced. It's how we respond to that discomfort and carry it into our words and actions that draws the fine lines between bigotry and tolerance.

My 'battle' as a gay men, is for people to relate to my humanity - and hopefully in some small change the way people see us. To see past the stereo types. I enjoy many human rights that people like me in more 'advanced' democracies do not enjoy. But although we're have many legal equalities does not mean we are accepted as equals.

My experiences and conversations clearly show me we have a long way to go to rid our world of homophobia and other forms of bigotry. Sadly, I think the gods honest truth is we'll never get rid of all of it. But each of us must own up to our prejudices. In some way we must stand up and account for them. I know I need work towards to a better understanding of everyone I feel different from, not through evasion or pretence, but through staring those differences in the face and making a conscious decision to break free of the misconceptions that feed our bigotry.

And so, as I celebrate and commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and the birth of the modern PRIDE movement, I have found my rally cry:

"I am human. I am man. I am gay and I am proud of all of me. Know me as a person, before you put your labels on me! And I shall do the same for you."

Ciao4Now

A scholar and a gentleman..

2009-06-12T16:05:00.002+02:00

In a follow up to yesterdays musings on fame and celebrity, I must just say that either Mr Van Der Ruit is a very good actor or he is a genuinely funny and very down to earth guy.

He is of course an actor, but our interaction with him last night was totally enjoyable. H's funny, and tweaked our interest with some very 'saucy' tidbits of plans for Spud 4 and the forthcoming movie.

In a few respects it felt like a 'school reunion' or sort, 'cause almost every guy there was seemingly a high powered professional from one or other prestigious boys school.

Speaking of reunions - have a look over at Ramblers latest posting on reunions. Have a great weekend everybody!!! I've got a hectic one lined up - lots of birthday's all around..

Ciao4Now

It's joyful, learning to fly! Or is slumming with the stars really for the birds?

2009-06-11T15:32:00.008+02:00

In retrospect, joyful would be too strong a verb - but it does make for a title that titillates... or am I deluding myself? Hehehe.

Tonight's a big night for me and CV. We're off to have dinner with that most wonderful of local wordsmiths, John Van Der Ruit - He of SPUD fame. I've read both instalments and am now in a queue to read the forthcoming release - 'Learning to fly'

This excitement is rather inexplicable though. You see, I'm not prone to staring at stars, the celebrity type, not the astrological ones - of course. I appreciate that the artistes have worked very hard to perfect their craft. This is after all why we pay money to see them on our big screens or small screens or on stages or pop their recordings into our CD players and i-pods or loose ourselves in their captivating prose.

Once upon a time, I lunched with the former 'Kyle' of Isigingo and found it absolutely fascinating how random people would stop and stare or ask for autographs or the latest plot twists in store. It turns out he had more personal problems than anyone could hope for in one lifetime and his star was about to flicker out and die.

And then I vividly recall visiting a friend who was working at a salon in Melrose Arch one day and I ended up making small talk with a certain, if I recall correctly, Vanessa. As small talk goes, I don't fare all that well, but trying valiantly I innocently asked her, 'What is it that you do?'

She looked momentarily perplexed, amazed even as she primly drew herself aback and raised her palm softly to her chest: 'I'm Miss South Africa.'

Determined to remain un-phased, I said, "Oh that's nice. I'm an events promoter. How's being Miss S.A been for you?"

In any event, my point is - at the end of the day, they also have to sleep and (to be far more polite than I normally would be) use the bathroom. I don't get giving them the inflated adoration. It just doesn't make much sense.

I know they've worked incredibly hard to achieve perfection in their craft. I applaud their achievements. But then again - so do many of us work hard. Sometimes, I think even harder. All we get at best though, is the adoration of our little ones and the cheers and support of our spouses, family and friends.

I will never fully get why people swoon over stars. Hmm - come to think of it, I don't think I get celebrity culture at all.

I'm sure Mr Van Der Ruit is a thoroughly nice fellow. CV and I may just pick up a thing or two about successful writing - or maybe we'll pick up absolutely nothing. Either way - I think I'll be pleased if he carries himself across as just a human being like me and you and not a pompous ass - like some stars apparently can be. Truthfully though, never having been to this restaurant before, most of all, I hope the food and wine and other company are good.

CIAO4Now

knowing me... a-ha?

2009-06-05T16:06:00.005+02:00

Someone near and very dear asked me why I've not been blogging...

The truth is, I can't really be sure. I'm in a funny place in my head at the moment and feeling kind of um... restless, like I'm not fulfilling something I'm meant to be doing. It may pass and writing about it may add some clarity to the matter... for me as much as you. And before anyone sees some sort of drama on the cards, let me move swiftly to put everything into its place.

I have been in with CV for just over a year now and the whole experience has been illuminating in so many ways, I can't even begin to describe. I could so easily get gushy right now, but I shant - because there's been other sides to knowing him and that's what today's post is all about.

Let's tentatively call the side I'm now referring to as 'the activist'. 'The activist' has changed my understanding of being a gay man. His experiences with the ex-gay ministry as laid bare in many a personal conversation, quite a bit of writing in his blog, as well as some of his personal diaries has moved me to try to understand myself better. This is not to say I previously didn't have a fair grasp of who I am. But, in my openly gay but somewhat 'closeted' recent past, I was all about work. Blooms and beats dominated just about everything I did... so much so there was not much time for anything in between.

This past year has seen me blossom in a way that was totally unexpected. Argh! I hate to use flowery terms - but that's what come off the fingertips, so I'll stick with it. My exposure to the 'activist' has partly driven my own recent explorations.

So I've been reading quite a bit. You may or may not have read my recent post on gay superheroes. That required tons of reading.

And then of course there's CV's award winning blog and other blogs on the gay experience.

I've reading 'The Velvet Rage' by Alan Downs. It's made me emotional and sometimes angry. It's revealing without being particularly instructive or helpful (so far). But it has rapidly changed the way I perceive myself and most other gay men. I won't recommend it yet - the jury is still out for me.

Knowing 'the activist' got me reading up even more on the story of Harvey MILK, slamming PRIDE - and then thinking about it a little bit more. Undertaking researching and ultimately deepening my understanding of the history of the gay rights movements (and the importance of Drag queens) and where gay rights are going now.

It's also lead to debating in sometimes very lively discussions gay marriage, being publicly gay and changing societal norms.

And I've been... consuming ('cause watching would be far too soft a verb) the 1st season of the US version of Queer as Folk. Although it was launched in 2000 and has become somewhat of a cult classic among gay men the world over, I couldn't watch it on my Zone 2 DVD system. The problem's been solved recently thanks to the suggestion of one of my many 'techno whizz' friends. It's fascinating. I totally relate to some aspects and can't believe others. It's a gritty candid drama about gay men and I think it's brilliant. There's four seasons to go after this. At least I'll have all of them on hand when I want to tuck into the next batch.

And finally - linking my recently awoken passion for reading, writing, the drama of the comic book hero and QAF (there's a comic book link developing), I just bought a few pencils and eraser to take up something I've not done seriously since high school... drawing.

I wanted to become a designer once upon a time. And a musician. And an author. And an entrepreneur. And a radio presenter using my influence to make positive changes (but not a politician - because I'm a lousy liar). And a priest (yes - even a priest).

Which brings me right back to the beginning again. I'm in a funny place in my head at the moment still restless. I can't shake the feeling that I'm not fulfilling something "greater", that I'm meant to be doing.

Ok, so it hasn't passed by writing about and I can't claim any further clarity on the matter... Maybe I should blog more frequently to express the things I feel I need to. Maybe, that's the way we change the world - one post, drawing and song at a time.

Ciao4Now

don't tell me you've been sleeping around when you've actually been sleeping around

2009-05-29T15:16:00.004+02:00

So I was sleeping around (mailed) a link to recording of Mr Flloyd Shivambu of ANCYL excercisng his right to sleep around (to reply) on the 702 with Ridi Direko, about what he was sleeping around (meant) when he said Helen ZIlle has been sleeping around.

If anyone was sleeping around with me, or if I was sleeping around with anyone else, I would indeed be happy to have this person sleeping around (representing) for me. Beacuse as you'll hear, sleeping around is nothing more than sleeping around. And that's exactly what it means.

I slept around (laughed my ass off)!

Have a sleeping around (great) weekend EVERYBODY!
Ciao4Now... or is that SleepingAround?

I've been looking queerly at comic books

2009-05-26T17:43:00.013+02:00

This post has been brewing for some time and invariably will be rather long and detailed by the time I'm done writing - so if you're the kind to settle in and read -go and grab that cup of tea or coffee now...

I've never really been a reader of comic books per se, but I became a fan of the world of superheroes with the onslaught of very well produced movies in the early nought-ies. I loved the drama, the action and I especially loved the special effects. I lapped them up like a parched camel might tackle a watering hole.

I recall an interview, with Stan Lee, MARVEL Comics foremost superhero creator, where he mentioned that the genesis of the mutants in X-men during the turbulent sixties resonated in particular with minority groupings in the US like blacks, gays and the disabled. They related to their personal angst at dealing with their differentness from the rest of society and how society was dealing so differently with them.

Not surprisingly, as a gay man, this sparked an ever intensifying flame of interest for the genre and the 'origins' of the superheroes themselves. I've been spurred to seek out the existence (or lack thereof) of gay superheroes and to explore how they’re reflected?

I'm not talking about the over speculated but totally misconceived relationship between Batman and his ward Robin, nor some of the heroes of sometimes erotic underground publications. I mean the 'real deal'; heroes that are 'written gay' by their authors - in the mainstream publications of DC and MARVEL.

I could discourse at length about the history of gay’dom in comics over many decades, but there are resources penned by greater super hero geeks than me, and two better ones are found here and here. I found however, that there were a few significant storylines that aptly illustrated some parallels with our story in the real world.

In the late seventies and early eighties, as gay men across America were fighting for protection from discrimination, their conservative Christian counterparts led by Senator Briggs and a former Miss America Anita Bryant to name but a few, were playing to the popular view that gay men were amongst other things paedophiles recruiting innocent children to their 'sinful ways'.

And so, I guess, it came as no surprise when there was a story line in 'A very Personal Hell' (The HULK #23 - Marvel, October 1980) where Bruce Banner is accosted in the public showers at the Manhattan YMCA. I think that story showed every straight mans nightmare encounter. The near rape scene shows how gays were viewed by the world: Sex crazed men bent on having their way by any means possible.

But, without any feather boas or sequined spandex, an intentionally gay hero called Northstar was introduced to the MARVEL universe in a new team called Alpha Flight (Alpha Flight #1 - Marvel, August 1983). He was however, not out. By the mid eighties, a sufficient number of hints and comments had been dropped and there was wide spread speculation about his sexuality. In effect, like many young gay men of the era, only his big toe was unintentionally out of the closet.

At the same time, hysteria around the 'gay plague' – AIDS - saw to it that Northstar was also afflicted by a dread disease, with persistent coughing and other mysterious AIDS-like symptoms. It was originally planned he’d succumb to the disease in the 50th issue, but the publishers would not have it. Instead it was revealed his disease was actually a curse cast upon him by a 'fairy'!?!

Attitudes towards homosexuality changed glacially into the nineties. But, I think that when AIDS finally became a human disease it marked a major a turning point for gays in real life as it was for the superheroes in comic books as is so aptly described in the following scene quoted here as a narrative from Lonley Gods .com (Alpha Flight #106, MARVEL, March 1992):

When Northstar discovered an abandoned baby girl that had AIDS he adopted the baby as his own and began to promote AIDS awareness. This act enraged the retired superhero Major Mapleleaf, whose gay son died of AIDS the year before. Mapleleaf decided to attack Northstar for the perceived injustice.

"My son Michael was a victim of AIDS as well!" Mapleleaf monologued as he traded blows with Northstar. "But he was gay - so people didn't afford him the luxury of being 'innocent'. There were no press conferences, no fund-raisers, no nightly news updates .... And now you come along! You with your cute and sweet and photogenic little orphaned girl .... My son wasn't guilty of anything. But because he was gay, he didn't rate!"

Northstar responded with a punch, yelling back: "Do not presume to lecture me on the hardships homosexuals must bear. No one knows them better than I. I am not inclined to discuss my sexuality with people for whom it is none of their business – I am gay!"

This revelation only enraged Mapleleaf further: "You're one of Canada's most prominent public figures, both here and abroad! Before that, you were a renowned Olympic athlete! Don't you realize the good that you can do?! By not talking about your lifestyle - by closeting yourself - you're as responsible for my son's death as the homophobic politicians who refuse to address the AIDS crisis!"

Northstar finally ended the fight with several more blows before coming to an amiable conclusion with Mapleleaf. "We do agree on one thing, sir. It is past time that people started talking about AIDS, about its victims. Those who die ... and those of us left behind."

By the dawn of the 21st century, a growing number of characters, hero’s and villains alike were either introduced, outed or re-written in as gay like the cowboy character The Rawhide Kid, whose origin dates back to 1955, was re-introduced as gay in 2003.

In the same year, for the first time an openly gay couple were introduced with a new team the Young Avengers (Young Avengers #1, MARVEL, March 2003). The shape shifting Hulkling (who's no relation to HULK) and Wiccan have since been depicted as a pair of young heroes who care for each other deeply. Their relationship and sexuality is so normalised within the story that it's never a diversion.

But as we all know, coming out is not always like that. Our relationships are in general not widely viewed as normalised as in the Young Avengers example. For many the fear of rejection when coming out to our friends and family is a nightmare come true. And in the ever increasing discourse on matters of sexuality, comic books have stepped up to the task to discuss the issue with readers allowing them to decide how to relate to a not so rosy ending.

In one of the X-series’, Colossus's has been re-written as gay but, this was not revealed until Northstar was incorporated into the team and they start dating (Ultimate X-men #65, MARVEL, January, 2006).

Colossus told his team mate, the devoutly Catholic, blue skinned, three toed and tailed Nightcrawler that Northstar asked him to his school's prom. Nightcrawler incredulously asked...

Colossus replies: "If a man as unique as you no longer has to hide in the shadows, I fail to see why someone like me should. Wouldn't you agree?"

Nightcrawler could however not accept this.

The conversation continued: "I know you've been avoiding me since you think you found out what I am." Colossus began. "Do you think that I am attracted to every man? Why would you think that? I will admit, your skin is cute, but you are not my type. So do not worry, I promise to keep my hands to myself. Can we just go back to the way things were? .... I am the same friend you knew."

To which Nightcrawler angrily replied, "I am thinking, now ... that I did no know that friend very well." ( Ultimate X-men #67, MARVEL, February, 2006).

In my research into the history of the superheroes, has made it clear that the depiction and assimilation of homosexuality has evolved through the years. Our kind are now well documented in the annals of DC and Marvel and our depictions in those parallel universes has progressed much like our story in real life. Today it seems the overall view of gay supers is being positive – hopefully helping us find wider acceptance in more than just the strangest of places.

Ciao4now

Winter and writing weary - already!

2009-05-14T13:54:00.004+02:00

Winter makes me decidedly lazy (and yes, this may well be another feeble excuse for not blogging). It's true, and the sad thing is, it's not really even winter! But she is definitely making her presence felt. We've had a good deal of frost here on the farmlands already and the air is far cooler, dryer and dustier, wreaking havoc with my ever so delicate skin (kidding) and sinuses (not kidding).

Clearly, it's not my favourite time of year, because not only do I feel lethargic, I can become rather crabby. This is mostly because I never get to see the sun during my playtime. Sure I get the sun - but during work hours. And all this extended darkness makes me mis. I could never live in northern Europe, where winter days clock in at under 10 hours of daylight. I think I'd end up murdering rude cashiers at the local Tesco or throwing myself into the Themes. I like summers sunshine - I really do. Summer days, mean I drive home in daylight and can regularly relish a chilled glass of wine on the patio as the last glimmers of light fade sweetly into the cool of a summer evening and the Ha-di-da's finally shut up till long after I've left for work the following morning.

Lets face it, weekends in winter are best spent in the arms of ones lover (when not making homes pretty and such). And the arms of ones lover are almost always better when snuggled under a duvet rather than sitting on the bone chillingly windy stoop outside - trying to soak up some of the Highvelds deceptively sunny winter days. Not that I mind snuggling under a duvet with my lover watching a DVD and slowly sipping some hot chocolate. Opting for that pleasure though, means the sun is sidelined for a few months.

On the upside though, when the season turns - you'll get to hear me really sing the praises of the bright blue sky's and the green shoots emerging from mother earths tilled soils. I won't get into that now - lets wait for the season to turn. In the mean time, I'll hobble along with my wintry lethargy, battling to go to gym and stay away from chocolate and other such comfort foods.

Recently, I've found myself somewhat challenged with two writing missions. OK, I lie, one's a mission, the other's a task. Lets begin with the TASK - *sighs with trepidation*

Unlike Rambler, who is involved with wordsmithery for a living, I am involved with plants. But somewhere along the line someone may have noted that I write a pretty formidable formal letter or am I deluding myself? My formal writing comes laced with pompous undertones and haughty legalistic phrasing. Hey, what can I say, when it's formal writing, one does not want to seem too casual or come over as imbecilic(is imbecilic even a word???). This 'knack' however has landed me the daunting task of scribing the entire conents of our website, including a description of our business activities; a condensed version (some 200 words or less I think) of a fifty year history as well as any other content we enthusiastically thought we might want to present to all and sundry.

Needless to say, not a word has been written yet thanks in part to the large amount of other reports and technical analysis relevant to growing plants that I've been interpreting and responding to... and of course a slight sense of being overwhelmed (by the writing task, not the reports).

I've written loads of 'corporate' stuff before - but always for dance parties and other hedonistic persuits - so this is quite a step away from a comfort zone for me. The style brief for our business's site is: "Formal, but not intimidating, almost conversational but not too chatty or light." What kind of a brief is that anyway?? Hmm, I may have to consider commissioning Rambler to help out a little. Anyone care to second that motion?

The second writing item is THE mission. It's the thing I posted about last week. Not a word has been written about that either. But I shall get it done. Alas, it's not my style to write in little bits and pieces. But as the clarity of my point develops, I shall try transcribe my thoughts into a succinct 'story'. Until then, it muddles through my thoughts, being stacked with new ideas as other pieces of information come to light....

OK - so now I'm babbling, instead of working on one of these pieces that's rather more important than this post. Off I go>>> *breathes deeply as if preparing to take a plunge into frigid water*

Ciao4Now

Do two threads make a string??

2009-05-08T15:12:00.003+02:00

So as some of you who are friends with me on FB or TWITTER will have picked up, I've been doing a bit of research recently.

It's made a link between two threads of thought. One thread's about superhero's and the other is about the Harvey Milk story... A bizarre combination perhaps, but I've made some links between them but it's taking a bit of thought. I hate to say it, but it's a bit of a social anthropology analogy. Anyway, I'm still working on it - but I promise myself and anyone else reading this, if anything else interesting comes up between when it's ready and now, I'll be sure to post an update. But trust me, nothing of major interest (that hasn't been covered by my uber talented other half) has come up recently

In any event, I'm now committed to the task. By doing this post, I've made it public that I have something to say and I MUST stick to my guns on this one and finish putting it together.
I just want to cross my "I's" and dot my "T's"....

Oh, and I have one further thing to say; besides the totally addictive American Idol, I've been sopping up knowlege on Channels 250 to 256 on DSTV. Which just made me think... this is probably why I feel like I must write something really intelligent. And then maybe I'll become famous, not nearly as famous as Rambler, but famous none the less. ;0)

Boy, do I wish time did not fly as quickly as it does. It must be the shorter days!

Ciao4Now

Crosses everywhere

2009-04-24T15:43:00.003+02:00

Electioned out?? A lot of people made huge efforts to make sure we could reach this day. I just hope any saffers who had the opportunity to vote did not squander the opportunity.

I voted (only once alas) on Wednesday. I didn't notice that my ID wasn't stamped till I actually looked!

Considering this. They didn't stamp my ID book. If the infernal ink had come off my finger (my fingernail was sparklingly clear 10 minutes after voting) I would have tried again at another station - and they would have been none the wiser. Did anyone consider that?? Did anyone do that??

I have a few suggestions for the IEC - but my biggest would be that they should have the procedures and rules on posters in the voting stations.

Talking about rules, I was also a little perturbed by the PARTY table so close to the voting station. And no, they weren't stocking voters up with streamers, those tooty things or asking us to blow out random number of candles whilst making wishes (although in retrospect that seems like a darn good idea now). This was a political party pitching up a table to "assist voters with queries" about 5 metres from the door of the voting station?!?!

The SAPS didn't seem to know if a POLITICAL PARTY could do that: "It's up to the presiding officer" I was told. Hmmm not that kosher me thinks. There were very clear rules for '94, but I don't know if they changed. So, I got no further than my query to the cops..

Anyway - I made my mark - the Anti Nuptial Contracts have done it again - and good for them. A reporter for the Washington Post called into 702 on Thursday to comment that new nations often go through water-shed transitions (some for the better some for the worse) in the 18 - 23 yr post Independence elections. That means next elections will be even more important than this one - assuming our Constitution is still in tact. I'm 95% confident it will be... lets hope the other 5% of my gut concern is completely wrong. There are some very good arguments as to why they won't play with the constitution - my cynical side says you can't keep a gravy train running with out all the foreign investment 'fuels'.

OK - so that's election's covered. I didn't mean to be so negative, but I think we (or any other for that matter) will always be a nation at risk when one party holds the constitutional majority.

Moving on... As those of you following Rambler will know, he recently added that sleek black and beautiful HD ready, LCD TV to the lounge. However, CV loves to watch telly in bed. Until the other day that was restricted to DVD's, 'cause the TV reception was appalling.

In our mountain-bike-shopping-expedition-gone-awry the fitness freak (me apparently) became softened by the lure of new gadgets (not entirely untrue). In the ensuing technology daze, I was determined to up the ante and add a remote blaster into the mix to remedy the TV-in-the-bedroom situation. These wireless blaster thingies cost a pretty penny and offer the world.

Now, I don't consider myself unskilled in the realm of connecting signal cables, I was a DJ after all and have connected so many sound systems, it's pretty much childs play. But after at least half an hour, I sat dazed, confused and somewhat frustrated before boldly declaring this confounded instrument did not have the correct cabling to split the signal to send it out to the bedroom. Removing this huge NO WAY JOSE cross to sending the DSTV signal to the bedroom was now a mission incomplete and had me stewing.

CV said I should take it back to the store and ask them to show ME how to connect the cables. As you can imagine; in my context; that was like a lass asking her beau to stop and ask for directions! BTW - this is not meant to imply gender specific roles between us, it's merely an illustrative example. Incidentally I have no problem asking for directions - but GPS makes that generally unnecessary.

I digress! I partially took that advice. I went go back to the store, having decided I needed 1-to-2 RCA cables. And after much discussion with the shop assistant, who unswayed by my assertions was trying to sell me a signal modulator. In the end, I vigorously demonstrated my genius plan to the guy. He conceded and thanked me for showing him something new, even though he'd lost a sale of R400-00 for a meagre R60-00 solution. I was smiling though.

Triumphant, I returned home and installed the solution, much to CV;s delight I might add! ;0) I did pick up a signal from our neighbours device, but managed to solve that by changing the remote signal pots.

Now, there's crossed signals eliminated and crosses made at the polling booth and we're all the better off for it it seems. YAY! Happy Friday everyone! Series channel forever!

Bits and bobs that are on my mind...

2009-04-17T12:53:00.004+02:00

This month is so mottled with religious, political and other public holidays - I can barely keep up with all the supposed time off. It's worse than Christmas really, a whole month of not being able really settle down into anything, I simply end up being rather uninspired (to write).

But it's been more than a week since my last post - and that's almost enough to qualify as 'bailing out'. I'm still feeling uninspired, at this point, so I'm going to try one of those Stephen King manoeuvres that Rambler was talking about not too long ago.

Today, I just start writing and see what comes out on the other side.

Yesterday, I updated my Facebook status via Twitter, expressing frustration at not being able to hold an internet connection long enough to blog. I got a few comments on that, which was nice. The gawds honest truth though, is every time I sign in, my Internet Explorer suddenly goes 'offline'. This only happens at work though. If, I've got the time to write at home - then my GSM modem serves me incredibly well. I don't quite know why it is like that, but it's terribly frustrating. None the less, we continue forth (or fifth if you find fourth's not working too well). *you may now groan as your corn-o-meter red lines - LOL*.

I digress! Or do I? I still haven't found anything to write about. I don't want to bore myself and any other readers with matters pertaining to fitness and diet - although, this is something I do dedicate a fair amount of time too now.

On that note though, I've been wondering what I should do with my new fitness levels. I mean - I train hard every day, build up a massive sweat and for what? It's great being healthy and all, and I do so enjoy spending that hour or so a day in the Gym environment, snapping muscle fibres as I push, pull and fling various weights around. OK, so fling is an overstatement, but you get the drift.

In a way, the gym is my quiet time. It's the place where I end up unwinding from the stresses or frustrations of the day before heading home. Some how, I think I've mentioned this before, so I shall move one swiftly from here back to my point.

Now that my resting pulse is nice and low, and I have a very hard time keeping it up (my pulse that is) whilst working out, I know I'm now at a fitness level bordering on very very good, but not quite Lance Armstrong good. I've thought about running, but only for an instant as a simple entry point to competitive sports. I've considered joining the local football team as an alternative option. But my knees are not in the best shape, and somewhat prone to getting very sore very quickly. So I'm excluded from any impact sports. Which pretty much leaves skiing, swimming and cycling.

I've been (very very loosely, mind you) considering mountain biking. But this is something I need to discuss in greater depth with my special man before I go on in this forum.

Talking about my special man. We're planning for our honeymoon and wedding. I think I like the ideas Pierre had and will strongly consider doing that before we get married. Anyway, we're looking for somewhere exotic, exciting and idyllic. On a personal level, I'd also like another bash at getting a real sun tan. If anyone out there has a suggestion or three - swing them by me. Unlike my man CV, I've not traveled much: Germany, Holland, Botswana & Namibia make up the full list, but all of those visits were in the 80's, when I was too young to appreciate (take advantage of) the nightlife and such.

Shame, he's also been sick. Well, let me paraphrase that. he was sick. I gave him some TLC on Wednesday evening, 'cause he really needed it. Dinner was served in bed and we even ate chocolate. But I can't lie. I'm usually more inclined to let sick little puppies get the rest they need, undisturbed, because whe I'm a sick little puppy, I can be a hectically vicious terrier!

The good new is, yesterday he was his vibrant mischievous self. And I was beaming from ear to ear, probably a little more internally than externally, but beaming none the less. It's good to have him back from the depths of his near invisible misery.

OK - so this still qualifies as a post about nothing really. And I say - HEY! What the hell. This is kind of a public journal - and we all know what happens if journals don't get written... The memories simply fade away like sign writing without UV protection, slowly disappearing until they become nothing more than indistinct translucent hues on the enormous white backboard of our lives.

Yes, it is now written on my big whiteboard in the sky. One day I shall be able to look back and remember that I'm not a fan of April in South Africa - with it's multitude of holidays and the first whisperings of winter breathing down my neck in the early mornings. And I shall also look back and see if I ever did start mountain biking and remember the embryo of our honeymoon and wedding plans and look back fondly at the memory of going on away before (or after) the wedding...

Ciao 4 Now

Chronicles of Bana(na) - the pain, the watch and the wardrobe

2009-04-08T08:48:00.007+02:00

So it's been a little while since I last posted. Mostly, cause I've been very busy, being busy and also, my internet connection at the office seems to hate me blogging, which is a whole other blog about conspiracy theories on it's own.

SO, without further adue, lets begin with a little translation - Bana is the isiPedi (Northern Sotho) word for Man. And being one (a man and not a isiPedi word that is), I thought I'd play off that a little to craft my Chronicles of Narnia word twist. Hehe. I've actually had today's title in mind for most of the week since my last post, but I didn't have a story to fill in all the bits, so I waited.... And I've been waiting until today. And now; I can revel in my true genius!!! *laughing manically to self, whilst passers by consider committing me for psychiatric*

The Pain

This morning, I feel like I'm suffering from sunburn. What on earth am I doing with sunburn in April any wise person would ask. The truth of the mater is it isn't sunburn at all. Nope, no sunburn for me, not now. Instead the discomfort I'm dealing with today is from a long contemplated, but not previously acted upon piece of 'cosmetic enhancement'.

I'm a hairy lad. The fact that I was bald by 27 is a hint at that. I've previously trimmed my stomach and chest hair back with a barbers 'buzzer' and have been waxing my awfully hairy back just under a year. Why would I do this? Well for starters, my dad's domestic, amongst others, used to called me Max (the Gorilla), for the latter part of my high school years. And then not too long ago a female friend asked me, not so politely, why I hadn't taken my shirt off, moments after I'd dived into a pool (sans shirt of course)!

I digress... The point is, all this body hair has bothered me a little. As a homosexual, I believe I should not have that much body hair, even if I'm what they would call butch! And now, especially with my recently found 'gym body', it was covering up all the definition I've worked so hard for.

So, after much contemplation, I decided to book myself for a chest wax, to match my back wax. Yesterday was the day of the Big Wax. That's even the way I noted it in my diary - the BIG WAX. With much trepidation, I entered the 'spa' took my shirt off and submitted myself to the mercy, or lack thereof, of the beautician. I won't lie, there were times my eyes watered and I whimpered - which is not the same as crying, but it comes pretty close.

How bad was it? Let's put this into perspective, we're talking about roughly 880 square cm of dense body hair being yanked off in the space of a few minutes! Last nights shower was decidedly COLD for my tastes, but that was the only way to stay comfortable. As a precaution, my chest and stomach are very well oiled today, and I have a sachet of moisturising lotion in my pocket for it's cooling powers once the oils have worn off. I just hope the uncomfortable tingling and red spots of the inflamed follicles subsides in the next 24hrs. I got through it - and after seeing the results - I've already booked for next month! I think CV's also impressed, which helps! :0)

Ladies, with your 'Brazilians' - I know your pain, and now I suspect, much more.

The Watch

It was my birthday recently, and mah man CV bought me (amongst other things) a new watch. This is no ordinary watch though - it's a POLAR F11. The POLAR range of watches is designed for future or present fitness guru's. For the unfit, I suspect this watch could be likened to the 'Hitleresque' gym class teacher you hated so much at school.

When starting the thing up to the first time, you basically measure your fitness, choose what kind of fitness level you whish to achieve and follow the workouts it plans for you.

My first week was a bit of a disaster as I learnt how to use the watch and tried to figure out which of my current workouts would slot relatively comfortably into the watches pre-set requirements. In spite of that, and much to CV`s dismay I was awarded a trophy for my efforts.

I kid you not though, if you're working out to the watches rhythm, this thing pushes you - HARD! I swam yesterday (which was the only workout I could do after the big Wax). My workout was only supposed to be 35 minutes, but it took me 8 minutes and 20 laps just to get up to my required heart rate to start. By the end of it, 48 minutes in total, I'd done 92 laps (2,3 Km's or 1,43 miles)! I guess that's make me a shoe in for a decent finish the Midmar next year. So me thinks I'll be entering.

Thank you polar (and CV of course) - for making me even more, more aware of fitness levels, but now with purpose - LOL.

The Wardrobe

People wishing to avoid sexy male models (read homoerotic imagery) should not read further, we venture 'below the belt' here...

My birthday is often marked by the odd treat for myself. Last year was music and DVD's - how utterly predictable. This year, in a revelation of my not oft gay self - I spent it on underwear. This is not the kind of underwear middle aged wives buy their husbands from the local Woolies. It's not even from the established brand Jockey or even the more upmarket Calvin Klein. Nope, this year I spoilt myself to uber low cut briefs and boxers - imported from distant places, manufactured for men who who wish to feel very very sexy.

I bought two brands of undies from an (almost certainly gay) underwear shop called FMO, For Men Only. Branded Ginch Gonch and XTG... my latest additions to the wardrobe are feeling like the best buys I've made in a while! Look at them, they're absolutely deeeelicious and they make me feel the same!

And whilst you're drooling over those, I bid you a fond...
Ciao4Now!

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month...

2009-04-01T12:22:00.003+02:00

It's a silly saying, but it's one that rings especially true on April the 1st, 'cause if you're not paying attention, a news item might make you want to pinch yourself to make sure what you heard is 'true' and then punch (or kick, whichever is most convenient) yourself when you realise it's all a load of baloney!

Being a 702 listener (Cape Talk, K-fm and Highveld are sister stations), I consume a fair amount of news but I wasn't thinking about it being the 1st of April...

Initially I was caught (only for a moment, mind you) by the Eyewitness News report that Benoni's other star (Rambler's is of course it's foremost), the Oscar winner Charlize Theron, is ditching Hollywood to join the cast of Isidingo!

I've trawled a few other news sites to see what they're up to today and these are my picks:

SABC News: Gautrain construction on hold after discovery of gold coins
E-TV News Channel: doesn't seem to have a website which is a joke in itself...
BBC International: Rio moves to wall off its slums
SKY News: America Builds World's Most Powerful Laser or Professor's Apocalyptic Vision Of America both seem totally outlandish..
CNN was not glaringly obvious: could it be this one; Soccer robots being built to beat humans?

I'm not entirely sure that all my picks are actually April Fools reports, I could be wrong. The only way to check is to come back to these tomorrow I guess.

I know of some truly awful 'in family' April Fools that have been pulled. Stuff that caused grief and family feuds! Perhaps they're less sensitive about the pranks they pull because they're not likely to have to potential to cause a global meltdown - and of course they have slightly sadistic tendancies. Thankfully my family does not have a habit of playing silly Aprils Fools jokes on one another. Hehehe

What caught you today and what didn't?

Ciao4Now

178.33.77.24.14. 900. 28

2009-03-27T16:10:00.005+02:00

Nope, this is not some sort of IP address, or some cryptic code. They'll make sense in a moment. I've decided to post about them because they have been front of mind this week.

This is a whole bunch of numbers that has suddenly taken on more significance for me since I've been giving it horns at the gym. Rambler's been suffering today 'cause of his spinning class. I wouldn't say I'm suffering, but I know I've been training quite aggressively.

So what are all these numbers??

178: My approximate height.. if it's not actually that, then that's my story and I'm sticking to it. ;0)

33: My age till Sunday, then I'll be 34 *sigh*... I have made NO plans and I intend doing something I enjoy more than anything else, spending uninterrupted time with mah man CV. It was also my waist size before I started gyming - but than now seems like a distant memory. I'm somewhere between a 30 and 31 depending on where the waistband's sitting.

77: my weight in kg's (not lbs). Well it see saw's between 76.3 and 77.7 week in and week out. I'm not too sure that actually qualifies as see-sawing, but there you have it anyway. I'd like to be 80kg's but that will require a bit of effort it seems. If I get it right, me thinks it'll be post worthy.

Now the numbers 33 and 77 have a ritual for me, because that's what I've been entering as my basic stats into the orbital walker every time I hop on. From Sunday, I'm going to have to break that habit and enter 34! Geepers - 34! And when I was sixteen I thought that was VERY OLD. But honestly, I've never felt better. My life (and my body too as you can tell) is finally starting to take shape - YAY!

24: The mysterious BodyMassIndex rating. It's a calculation of a weight to height ratio and used to estimate your general well being. 24 is apparently on the upper end of 'healthy' for my height, but perilously close to overweight! In fact, if I get to 80kg's my BMI will read as overweight. They (the mysterious all seeing, all doing people who make great scientific discoveries when 'they' are not stealing cars or burgling houses) do have a disclaimer though, the BMI works for people who are not 'in training'... Basically, I'm not covered by the BMI because I'm an official gym 'bunny' - So, I can ignore it. YAY! I do not like the idea of being overweight.

14: Shock horror! - is my supposed body fat percentage according to a terribly complicated and scientific looking calculation, factoring in waist size, weight and a few other dimensions. Again, I'm not convinced and am inclined to go with the 'fancy liar' at the gym that never get my weight right, but must be telling the truth when it declares I'm in the 11% zone. According to CV (and a few other people to boot) when you're around 10% you can see ab's. And I do. (for pictorial proof follow this link to a previous post about sunburn).

900: The distance I swam this morning. I love swimming as a part of my cardio training. I can get by breathing and heart rate up to astronomical levels without getting all hot and sweaty. Hmm - but that's got me thinking about the salt chlorinated pool at the gym... It really is very very salty. I shant go further with that one - sies! Fortunately, when I'm swimming, I generally don't think much. It must be something about being in water, I'm thinking of Dorey in Finding Mimo's (oops - someones craving Pizza again) - Finding Nemo. I will look at the tiles below me, and think how the cleaning gadget they use missed a spot, then I'll think briefly about swimming Midmar one day, and then I'm wondering why the jets in the water don't bubble, but will push me off my line and then I'm back to the tiles again.

I digress!

28: The number of minutes it took me to complete the said distance above. When I first took to the pools, I could manage only 500 meters in half an hour and I thought I was going to die by the time I was done. Now I'm aiming to be able to do 1000m (40 laps) in the 30 minutes. It's going to be a stretch but achievable. 28's also the average time I now do my cardio training for. The folks at the gym have pre-programmed the machines to only do 20mins. So I start with a 5 minute warm up, then immediately start a new program for 20 mins, plus a three minute cool down at the end.

I know this is a very arb post about numbers - but it makes sense for me. I think I'm lucky I didn't decide include kilojoules, calories, grams of protein, carbohydrates and fat...

There it is - it's out there - the kind of things that fill the mind of a thirty something gay guy who grows flowers for a living and used to DJ in his 20's. Have a great weekend! I plan to.

Ciao4 now!

Energizer, energizer, I'm an Ener-Ener-gizer

2009-03-24T10:45:00.003+02:00

I've recently become aware that I'm marginally hyperactive in the evening. I can't seem to sit still.

Before you start thinking this has to do with me weaning myslef off the cigarettes, I know I've been doing this for years. I'm a consumate faffer too, but that accounts for me often leaving for a destination at the time I was supposed to arrive, which is another story all in itself.

This all revolves around what I do when I get home in the evening after gym. I feel compelled to keep moving: double check status of dogs food, unpack gym bag, re-pack gym bag, empty unfinished water in water bottles, refill and refrigerate water bottles for tomorrow, get supper going, unpack dishwasher, remove clothes from tumble dryer, get supper going, respond in the negative to CV's offers of assistance, organise clothes for work tomorrow, return to supper preparation, start packing dishwasher with new load, get eggs out the fridge and measure out cereal for breakfast in the morning, prep coffee machine, top up water jug, start measuring out meal replacement shakes and lunch snacks for the next day, consider watering plants, forget to actually water them, pet the pets, re-check the oven to see of the veggies are roasted yet, read a little (standing at the kitchen counter), get table ready for dinner and so on.

And then as suppers ready, I consider if we want/need to drink water, juice or wine (wine is actually CV's speciality, but I'm claiming it for this post), then sit down and realise there's no condiments and napkins on the table, get up again and dash to the kitchen to get missing bits, and eventually sit down to eat. All the while CV's been sitting at the dinner table (after the food is ready of course) waiting for me to sit down so we can eat. But, by the time I've finally settled down at the table both mine and CV's plates of dinner are luke warm to cool.

Dinner is always an enjoyable mix of discussion and comment on whatever's been on in the day and we relish it. Meals are something I tend to take my time on, unless rediculously ravenous.

But then, once we've eaten, I'm off again: divide up tomorrow's lunch portions into respective tupperwares, get into my jammies, faff with some thing else in the studio, bedroom or kitchen. And once all bases that I can recall are covered, I will settle. And then it's not long till I'm battling to keep one eye open and not fall off the couch.

Now after working a full day and then still having to get through some basics on the home front obviously entails that most of the above list has to be done. It's just the seemingly manic pace that I've been getting to it that's recently struck me. I think it may look like I'm an Energizer Bunny on speed to CV.

I don't know if it's a problem per se - it's just an observation that I'm now aware of.

May be it's my 'systematic' aproach to things running slightly amok, cause I'm trying to attend to three or four activity streams at once, or may be it's an innate fear of falling asleep before I've got myself ready for the next day. (In the morning, I'm a fumbling clutz and I can loose minutes walking around in circles, achieving absolutely nothing.)

Either way - it's a part of me I've only recently become aware of and as a detail person, becoming aware of a thing means I must make an effort to understand how it works. Not that this really needs figuring out I guess - or maybe it does?

Hmm, I think I'm starting to get myself into a analyzes this situation over nothing, let me get back to work.

Ciao 4 NOw

oooh - I feel all mushy inside

2009-03-23T14:34:00.005+02:00

Let me be upfront and say I do not come from a heritage of gifting. I'm not particularly good at receiving gifts, and quite honestly find buying gifts a little overwhelming some times.

They require so much thought. What if I get it all wrong? What if my best girfreind is already sick to death of ornamental candles or vases? Are socks and jocks really that bad a gift for dad? I confess, I tend to buy gift vouchers.

I do go so far as buying vouchers that are appropriate. My best girlfreind gets a voucher from decent home decor stores. My straight, golf playing mates often get Golfers Warehouse vouchers. Book lovers - Exclusive vouchers and so on. SO it's not like I coulnd't think of anything at all for you - it's more like I thought you'd do far better chosing something appropriate for yourself - let me point you, with all my love, in a specific direction.

Anyway - I was at a family gathering (the future in-laws) yesterday to celebrate J&P's engagement and CV's nephew MV is turning 8, so that got thrown into the mix. But, beacuse it's also my birthday coming up, CV's brother WV (and family) and J&P got me gift too.

My intial reaction - without any disrespect to any of them that may reading this is: 'What on earth for!?!' But then, as one does, I had to open them.

Now, it's not Christmas, so for a moment all attention is kind of on me for a moment, as opposed to being sprea around the room. And being the terribly honest guy that I am - I might not be able to feign a response of delight if the gift sucks. The preassure is on!

First up was a gift from WV (and family). They took the best route for me - an Musica voucher! Haven't tried to redeem it - but whatever I buy, I will relish! No doubt I'll be buying a collection of rare soul cuts, recently re-mastered and re-released, or something from the Hed Candi stable. Thanks guys - it's YUMMY!

Then there was one of those enormous gift bags from J&P. Gift bags are wonderful at conceling the true contents of a gift, often with narry a hint because of their shapelessness. But with the lack of and sort of shape comes the real threat of getting something I might just not like. So, it was with trepidation I opened the gift from J&P. OhMyGOSH!!! As I realised what I was pulling out the bag, I think I momentarily became the same age as CV's 8 year old nephew. I felt all mushy with excitement inside.

I'm a sucker for Superheroes. I was never a comic book fan, but ever since the advent of the hight tech superhero movie, I've becomse a sucker for them. Wel inside was not one, but two collectable figurenes each one individually cast in lead, hand painted and numbered and endorsed by DC. Here they are below:

I'm not sure if I should un-pack them, or keep them in the original boxes to retain their value. Either way if anyone out there is thinking about something to get me for this and many a birthday to come in the future... here's the link to the page. *bashfully* And no that was not a shameless punt for birthday presents - just a suggestion if the thought had crossed your mind ;0)

I know I'll be ordering a few of these little gems online pretty soon! Thanks to WV (and family) and J&P for the amazing and totally unexpectd gifts. The big day is on Sunday, and although I know what CV got me, I can't get my little paws onto that too until then... so I'm still bursting with anticipation! I think I might just start liking the idea of getting a year older again.

Ciao4Now

The big wind that tore it all up

2009-03-21T06:32:00.003+02:00

Not too long ago I blogged about the thunder storms on the Highveld. The storm rolling in on that blog had nothing on yesterday...

I was outside having a breath of fresh air (read: smoke) just after 9-30am when I saw a storm moving in at speed. I don't know if you've ever seen the sight of a massive wall of wind and water moving towards you across a wide open landscape? You'll be standing surrounded by a sublime stillness, watching this dull grey curtain proceeding toward you. Then it hits and for a few minutes all hell breaks loose!

The wind picked up to an intensity that must have been close to gale force. Rain lashed down from all directions in a whirling deluge of wind and water, so much so it was raining 'sideways'. I retreated to the comfort of the pack house.

Some twenty minutes later the intensity of the storm had disipated to a gentle shower. And then we recieved reports from 'the outside'. One of our sheds had lost a roof - fortunately the wind was so strong, it miraculously lifted it clear of the power lines before dumping it in pices some 30m and more away from the shed!

The greenhouses too were pummeled. Five of eight greenhouses took a knock, with three of them sustaining structural damage. We're still figuring out just how much still needs to be repaired. The obvious stuff like gutters and roof plastic is easier to account for and begin repairing, but the damage to electrical instalations is going to be a little more complex to sort out.

And then of course there's the damage to our crops. All that rain, directly onto the flowers is not so clever...

This is not quite the most positive ending to a tough week. Here's a few pictures to show you what I mean:

*SIGH*. It makes me feel quite down just looking at these again...

The receipe to kill for and the normal routine

2009-03-20T05:41:00.008+02:00

**Please excuse my formatting of late - every time I load a picture, everything goes cock-eyed and all my paragraphs either become compressed or overly spaced and I don't know enough HTML to fix it**

This recipe calls for only a few ingredients to deliver truly explosive results!

1st Ingredient - Sleep (or lack thereof)

What's the difference between four, five and six? That's easy... or is it?

I've never been one for too much sleep. Six hours sees me through just fine. More than six hours and I feel overslept. With five hours in, I'm functioning but weary. But anything less than that and I turn into the troll that lives under the bridge, snapping up any and all unsuspecting passers by and spiting out the bits that can't be chewed. Even I'm scared of me.

2nd Ingredient - Nicotine (or lack thereof)

Nicotine deprivation is a tricky bastard. There's the slowly overwhelming sensation of a void that well up from within the chest. No amount of deep breathing can fill it. That craving slowly cobbles it's way into the brain. Eventually it carves a hole into ones mind that's so large, so totally overwhelming just about consumes you from within.

Now, if you've never had an addiction of any sort, you'd never be able to relate. But for anyone who has, and tried to beat it, you'll know: Cold turkey is a very ugly place.

My cautionary note to all smokers (myself included)... DO NOT WHERE EVER POSSIBLE PLAN YOUR HALT TO TOBACCO INTAKE DURING THE MOST TESTING WEEK YOU'VE HAD IN A WHILE!!

3rd Ingredient: American Idol

The show on TV (where the contestants actually have talent!) is pretty good and one doesn't want to go to sleep just yet.

Preparation and Serving

The other night due to a combination of the 'crazy hours' and the ever so addictive American Idol and the distractingly irritating addiction to nicotine I was running on the verge of insanity.

Insanity? OK - let me explain.

The brain and body are tired from an accumulated lack of sleep tallying up to about 9 or so hours for the past week. So thresholds to all sorts of things are wearing thin.

The need for a fag is reached the point of total distraction.

The TV show is standing as an almost worthy distraction. But it requires TOTAL concentration to hold it together.

Then, something very small and light happens on the periphery of this delicate balancing act. And somehow it's all too much. It really is a proverbial last straw.

There's a grand collapse of sorts. And for the innocent 'distractor' - a kangaroo court is held summoning a firing-line that'd make a masochistic dictator proud to file into formation and fire off a barrage of utter devastation - all in a matter of milliseconds.

For the victim it makes no sense... it cuts deep. Deeper than just the 'dish just served' should.

Like a really hot curry, it's not really the meal itself that is the kicker, but the consequences down the line that hurt the most. The recipe clearly needs some revision if it's burning a path through all and sundry.

So, I've conceded:

- I shall continue to smoke (a bare minimum) for the next few days till my days are restored to a more normal routine.

- I shall have to make the effort to drag myself off to bed ridiculously early (just after 8) in order to get the 5+ hours minimum in till my days are restored to a more normal routine.

- I shall have to buy the victim of the dish some nicely refrigerated loo-paper (read: presents / dinner / ice cream) to sooth away some of the pain caused and hope that it mends the burning.

I'm pretty certain it'll work out fine - but till then, I'm working to make life less volatile.

Weighty issues

2009-03-18T07:00:00.004+02:00

I feel like have absolutely nothing to say... Hmm, lets see...

Rambler suggested (compliments of Stephen King) that we should just write. And so write I shall. Let's see what comes to mind. (*moments pass, the sound of the ticking clock almost overwhelming me*)

I'm a little distressed, CV is on 'deadline' and it's not a nice time for him. I can't really relate or offer any real support, 'cause my kind of deadlines sound much less intense. All I can do at any given time is "listen to him when he needs to speak, about the world he lives in and life in general". I wish him all the best with the hecticness (is that a real word?) of the deadlines looming and hope it all gets done. NO, actually, I know it will!!

And recently, CV and I've gone a bit 'diet' mad. Well it's not mad really, let's call it very very attentive. We both eat wholesome food. But, never in my life have I been so aware of the make up of carb's, proteins, kilojoules, fats etc. in what we eat.

Now, if you who know me personally, will think - but what on earth would Frank want to worry about his diet for!?! The answer is, I'm not picking up weight. I weigh in at 77.8kg's at the end of the week and start the following Monday about 1.5 kg's lighter! My target weight is just 80. You'd think I'd reach that in no time! I did, but the sad conclusion must be, I'm not eating enough!

So now the objective is to pick up the kilo's very responsibly. You know, to get in the right amounts of the right stuff...

CV has his own perceptions of himself that I don't share. But they are noted and we'll work together towards his goals too (as you'll note in a few of his previous posts). In any event there's been a fair amount of time doing quite a bit of reading - and there are no declarations yet. But if when it's all figured out - I may just reveal my plan to a heavier me!

More bits in between... Engaging stuff

2009-03-16T05:15:00.003+02:00

It feels like an age since I last posted, and it is! Almost a week ago I was commenting on how I was taking back the baton for my brother whilst he went on holiday. I can't lie and tell you it's been a walk in the park. In fact it's been a bit of a wake up call.

I shan't, for once, bore you with all the details mostly because I just don't have the time right now and secondly it might bore you to tears.

Waking up at something past two has not been an easy re-adjustment. I agree with CV - I don't know how I do it. But more so, now that I'm used to sleeping in (so to speak) - I don't know how I did it for nearly 5 years - not too long ago, or how my folks did it for more than 30! Here's a little view of the processing end of the business taken from my desk in the corner...

It's 4am - and we're on the go with Flowers!

After work, it's off to gym, home for dinner and a short spot of telly interspersed with a focus on making sure I have everything ready from lunch to my clothing for the next day. It's not the best way for me to spend my evenings as CV ad I barely get time to connect. All I hope is that CV has the patience to see it through for the next week... It's just 6 more (short) sleeps to go! YAY!

So, please forgive me if the posts are a little scarce in the coming days. I don't want to sound like a moaner, I love the thrill of the chase - but I don't think I'll be settling into this job any time soon again...

And in other news...

This weekend was uber chilled. Saturday evening we stayed in and ate take out. CV went out to get stuff to cook but got my hint that I was very, very keen for a bit of Pizza. So he returned from the supermarket with Pizza for me and Schwarma for him. We watched a bit of tell and then he got a call from his sister JV.

And so, it was announced: The last unhitched V in CV's family is going to change that. My future sister-in-law (and no, there are still no firm dates yet for CV and myself) JV got engaged on the weekend. Her man P took them to see a spot of theater and he 'decided he didn't want to drive home', so he booked a boom at the hotel. His deft plan went off without a hitch...

I was with CV when they were speaking on the phone and CV, true to form, had tears streaming down his face. This time they were tears of joy. I'm so happy for them - I almost cried myself.

Talking about things going off without a hitch has reminded me of a friend of mine MG. He's a great, heart on his sleeve sort of guy - but he will tell you. If he planned it. Not too long ago he also decided it was time to pop the question to his now future bride D.

There was a grand plan, the perfect plan.. Think of Lionel Ritchie and and you should also think of romantic music. If I recall correctly, there was also a hotel room booked. But when they got there, for whatever reason he had to leave his jacket in the car. The family heirloom engagement ring was in his jacket pocket. Needless to say there was some distress on his part. And poor un-suspecting D was a tad put out by his irrational fear of leaving the jacket in the car.

Determined not to take the risk of leaving the ring in the car, MG decided he would throw his original plan out the window and promptly dropped to one knee declaring the reason he could not leave the jacket in the car was because he could not leave the ring at risk. And there, with his patella grinding on the tarmac he proposed. Not the romance he'd hoped for no doubt - but as it turned out, will always be a more romatic tale in the long run.

And now - it's time to get back to the grindstone - there's deaslines to be chased..
Ciao 4Now

Taking back the baton... back, way back

2009-03-10T13:46:00.005+02:00

My life's a little upside down at the moment.

My brother MJ, is going on leave from Friday, for a week and I have to fill in for him whilst he's away. He's only been at the farm here for just under a year and when he started, I trained him to take over some of my responsibilites, so I could focus more closely on the things I'm supposed to worry about. So, the job he does is one of the many job's I've covered or developed at the farm in my long and diverse time here - in theory it should be a doddle.

However, being much like me, he's inclined to change things to make them run a lot better than they ran before. So the way things are done is now pretty different from when he took over from me.

To begin, I started work at 4am this morning, which is something I've not done in ages. And it's something I have no intention of getting used again to either! (I can hear CV cheering in the background!!)

Today was a bit of a time warp. We've gone through the run down of re-cycled daily activities and over the next few days I'll be re-training for a job I initially developed. I can already see it's pretty simple (as it always has been) and it's even simpler now that he's tweaked the system.

It's a strange sensation though, sitting at my old work-station, doing what I've done so many times before - differently. I shall accept that there will be times I have to take over this post. I 'm not a fan of the over-early wake up call, but for my brother, I'm sure it's akin to the relay racer.

If it were you, wouldn't you rather the baton be handed to someone who's run those miles a million times before than a butterfingered klutz?

Mind Bullets

2009-03-09T15:40:00.004+02:00

Leading on from my post this weekend about how catching incoming balls (and bullets) is actually learned...

I had originally intended to do a whole post about things to with the mind, perceptions and so forth but got lost on my inabilty to catch well and that Most Consistent Player award. *grins*

Anyway - What actually brought it on was a conversation I was having on friday with LY an MSN chat buddy about remembering dreams and such and he said that not only does he often remember his dreams he has a lot of Deja vu. Which led to a whole discussion about my theory (which is no doubt an adaptation of someone else's) that pulls the sense of dejavu far away from dreams and back into reality.

It goes to the heart of experience again. Our brains are wonderful filters of information. We're conscious of that which is filtered through, but the sub-conscious is actually picking up everything from the feintest sounds in the background to the most distracting din of a jack hammer (and so it goes with vision, smell, taste and touch too).

In this theory, Deja vu is when a series of events unfolds before your eyes that is similar enough for your mind to piece together enough 'handles' of experience to make it seem like you have experienced the very same thing before.

On a different and far lighter tack, just in time for the release of 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'- Ever wonder why time flies so fast as you get older?

I once read in a Readers Digest that the answer was very simple: As you get older, each fraction of time represents a smaller part of your total life. So for example, 1 year to person aged 5 is 20% of their entire life experience, but to a person of 60, the same amount of time represents just 1.6% of their life - which is why it seems to whizz by.

Fascinating and mind boggling all at once, I dare say. To quote a local banks slogan from the 90's: "Makes you think, doesn't it"... and no, I do have better things to do, but I enjoy thinking about stuff like this - it's fun!

Ciao 4 Now

Catch it - if you can

2009-03-07T17:39:00.008+02:00

Of late I've been thinking about brains... well that's not exactly true. I'd rather say discussions about the wonders of our human mind have come up with some frequency in the past few days.

Simon Geare, SA's foremost weather man, has various spots on 702. He does a science feature with David O'Sullivan during the week and made mention of an interesting study where it was proven that superman-like ability to perceive and respond with brilliant split second timing to a fast moving, head-on object is completely learned rather than some sort of innate ability lurking within us. It's a fascinating thought that. Basically translated, should one practice klapping a incoming cricket ball for years and years - you will, by experience only, become very good at it.

I wasn't very good at ball sports. I found cricket and baseball very very very boring when I was standing in the outfield. It seems I was distracted, more interested in making pictures with the clouds , wondering if they were serving cookies or orange slices with the juice during the drinks break whilst humming theme tunes from Knight Rider, the A-Team and Superman to keep myself awake. I was told I had no hand-eye co-ordination and never excelled at either sport. Quite honestly I didn't worry about it too much either.

I did win the most consistent player of the year award in my last ever season of little league. Two things stuck me about that award.

The first one was that the trophy bore our family name. I was the last in a long line (six in all) of Little Leaguers to leave the club, I think it may have been a prize for all of us - just to have it standing on the upright piano one last time before we left the club forever.

The other, was they never said what kind of consistency I'd displayed. It could have been anything, from never having missed a practice, to never making an important outfield catch. well, whatever it was - that I was just consistent.

It does make me wonder though, how those scientists would explain how Superman is able to become super-duper-bullet-dodger with the rip of a shirt in a phone booth? Must have been years of practice in the corn fields of Smallville.

A taste of parenting?

2009-03-03T10:23:00.008+02:00

I think I got my first taste of what parenting might be like this morning.

I've recently become a step-dad to CV's two beautiful Dachies and both Pab's and Lolita, have crawled their way into my heart over the past few weeks. They're such a delight, especially since they've warmed nicely to thier new step dad, showering me with a lot of love daily. I just hope that soon enough they will even start listening to me. According to CV's 'family custom', they have their bed in our bedroom.

At around 3am this morning, we got a wake up call from 'our eldest' - Pablo. His little feet padding around the room woke me. CV, who is a far lighter sleeper than I, woke up too and tried to figure out what was wrong.

Let me say here that Pab's is a sleep lover. He's in bed by 8 most nights and generally doesn't stir until Daddy C (I would be Dady F in this case) urges him to join the world of the living at around 8am.

Point is, if Pab's is waking us up in the wee hours of the moring, it's gotta be a pressing emergency. Now, if you're reading between the lines here, you'd have figured out what the problem was... But, I'm not wise to these things yet and thought the little boy was feeling a bit lonesome as Lola, 'our youngest', had somehow manged to get away with sleeping in the crook of my arm.

But, CV being the sensitive and astute man that he is, quickly realised all was not well. In his way, Pab's told him he needed to 'go'. And so he let Pab's out and get on with his business, which was followed by the loud lapping of water, as he replenished his on board supplies.

But dear little Pab's was not to keen to go back to his bed. Closer investigation revealed the need to 'change the linen', cause our dear little 'boy' had done what little boys do. He'd wet the bed. My (rare) anthropomorphic side still tells me it's because he was feeling a little insecure with Lola not being by his side. In any event, a few seconds later and all was resolved, including the heart wrenching but altogether neccesary ousting of our little Lolita from the bed.

I could have been grumpy about being woken up in the middle of the night by a little water sport, especially since I have to wake up at around 4am every morning. But I wasn't. In fact only two thoughts prevailed: "Boy am I glad I didn't actually have to get out of bed to sort this out." And, "Is this a mild taste of what's to come if we ever go the family route?".

I'm pretty sure this had nothing on the real deal of parenting, but my overall reaction makes me a little bit more comfortable with the idea of evetually going there.

12 stroke paint job... A tag!

2009-02-27T14:33:00.006+02:00

For those of you using Microsoft Windows as your operating system, you should have a program called 'Paint'.

(A little lost?: Click Start, All Programs, Accessories and look down your list of programs for Paint)

Now those of you who've been following Rambler, and wondering just how he draws all them there hearts over his pictures, I've have just revealed his secret weapon. It's a fun little tool, but boy is it tricky drawing with your mouse... So much so I thought I'd make a tag of it!

Here's how it works....

We've all seen each others profile pictures, no? Now's the time to do a self portrait from the picture.

Rules:

Using no more than 12 'paint' strokes, draw yourself, and yes it can be done!!

(Clearly) You sohouldn't fret too much if it's not picture perfect - but if you're realy apalled by your attempt at a line, press CTRL+Z to clear the line you've just drawn and try again.

"Save As" the picture as a .JPEG (if you want to be using a smaller file - it defaults as a bitmap)

Load up the photo of yourself and your painting side by side, so we can all see how you fared.

Spread the love and tag 5 people.

And now, without further adue, here's me and my slightly aged self - LOL:

The Photo

and... The Masterpiece

My tagee's are:

Rambler (the inspiration), The Running Golfer (just 'cause you love 'em so much), Allie ('cause I just loved you handbag-tag and you love playing along), Shiny ('cause you are one of the most entertaining writers I've ever read, next to Rambler, of course), and Mel-B (before it gets 'jacked' anyway- hehe)

Have fun y'all

And just incase you don't believe it can be done, I used:
(1) 1 for my entire face outline , (2) 1 for my nose and 'dimple', (3 &4) 1 each for the outline of the eyes, (5, 6, 7 & 8) 1 (airbrush stroke) each for the eyebrows and eyes, (9) one for the lips, (10) one for the neck and (11) one for the shoulder and there's one spare for those of you with hair. :0>

Ciao4Now

Here come da beats

2009-02-25T07:36:00.005+02:00

We all have priorities. For the ardent bloggers out there, keeping the blog up to date is important. However as both AbsolutWillie and Pierre attest in recent posts, sometimes the junction between our real and virtual lives just seems to get disconnected for a while as other things take over and the blog takes a back seat for a while.

But now, at last, I'm able to blog again after clearing some very important work from the incredible number of things on the go...

With a blog entitled Blooms, beats & the bits in between - I thought it fair to give the beats some airtime again - especially since they have finally had some time to re-emerge (sort of). The last time I posted about being a beat-master was in 'Something about Storytelling pt.2' in the very very early days of my blog when time was my friend and I was on Holiday! A lot have things have happened since, including me and my lovely fiance moving in together.

With CV now essentially moved in and most of the pictures mounted, all the pots, pans and other paraphernalia properly unpacked, and all the bits no longer required either disposed of or packed away for a rainy day. And that was week one..

In the Topsy-turvy days with boxes being unpacked and random items being given an inadvertent tour of duty in each room of the house, my little home-studio temporarily served as a dedicated holding area for all manner of things. But during the latter part of last week, as things were starting to take shape nicely, I decided it was time to gut her and get her back into operation.

A couch and de-commissioned TV stand, recently fired from the lounge, were quickly re-employed to perform duties in the studio. A favourite, but badly faded print was removed and replaced by a clock, cabling sourced and re-commissioned from various nooks and crannies. Slowly my disheveled studio began to take shape once more, as furniture and equipment were re-arranged into my personal little sound-mixing array with keyboard to the left; self amplified studio monitors (speakers) and PC front and centre; and finally the mixer, CD player and Turntable all off to my left.

The PC however, was a source of terror. As the hinge-point for the entire studio, I was petrified of not getting it right. You see, my new PC (which was a very unexpected housewarming gift) is much more powerful than my original - but it is in a virginal state.

She's a studio dedicated machine. The powerful dual-core processor means she runs like a dream, even when I'm working across a number of resource heavy audio suites at the same time. She's loaded up with mostly new software - NIIIICE TOYS... lots of new things to learn.

BUT, all the stuff of value was on the old computer. All my music, the sound and sample banks, the 'midi-instruments' - the whole lot. And moving it was a rather detailed process but also terrifying.

With a little visit from one of my friends who is in IT, and one or two subsequent support phone calls I finally manged to get connected to all the various bits of hardware that that have been floating around and I've been downloading software updates and drivers since Sunday! So I can now proudly declare - the PC is up and running! YAY..

And what's the 1st thing of value of done with my new MUSIC MONSTER MACHINE?

Yep, you guessed it - I wrote this post. Hopefully the next great thing to come off my PC will be some new beats...

Ciao 4 Now

Double Take... a response

2009-02-18T10:30:00.005+02:00

Allie's post 'Double Take' made me think alot... and what was supposed to be a short comment turned out to be something that I thought warranted it's own post. I think you should check it out if you haven't read it, before you carry on here.

I've copied the picture here though for expiediency:

I can imagine just how much this image might scream for a double take, much like gay couple snogging in a public space or a girl flashing her wobbly bits on the sidewalk might. For those with a strong deity based faith (across any and all religous views), this is a truly benign statement. But not everyone has a diety based faith. In fact many of us have been raised in families and community with a deity based faith, but still have doubts.

Athiesm seems to remain as contentious as the differences between the two religous populations in Israel, but without the bloodshed. However if there were an distinctly athiest suburb or principality within a 'fundamentalist' religous state, the above statement might not remain true.
I honestly think we should allow each other to declare religous or other views and recruit support for them too, for that matter. Personally , I try follow this basic tennant: "Accept one another('s views if in their basic form fall) within our basic emotional human needs for Peace, Love, Unity and Respect" (even or especially when your own views don't co-incide).

There's a bit more of a story behind P.L.U.R - but that doesn't warrant discussion now.

That said, I give this campaign two strikes, which anyone who knows baseball will understand still doesn't take it off the playing field and back into the dug-out. Because, I feel, Athiesm needs its day (or two) in the sun!

Strike-one: No P.L.U.R!

This selfish tag line implies that people with a faith do not or cannot enjoy their lives.

Granted there are people living in a faith based society that, beacuse of dogma, don't measure up in some way or other. That leads to varying levels of guilt, self deprication or even condemnation and exclusion, to such extremes, that they may end up suicidal or murdered.

But, there are still plenty of people out there with deity based faiths who have fantastic and fulfilled lives. I suspect most of the regular followers of this blog would probably say they have a strong deity based faith and lead happy and fulfilled lives and who are these (bus advertisers) guys to say otherwise? The tag line baseless and pointless.

Furthermore, as you shall see later in my post, this comment is as I understand it, off the mark for athiesm because the selfish tone of that little tag runs headlong into the very critisicms those who know little about athiesm lay at it's feet.

Strike Two: No Respect for itself...

Use of the word 'probably' comes across as doubt filled. And so, as a supposed campaign for 'recruitment' to a particular point of view, it fails dismally. Most other campaigns by faith based organisations will generally espouse a value or view. NO?

Every other deity based faith does not muddle it's thoughts on its fundamentals. Be they mono or polytihiestic - they know their god/s. Most even declare their love for them.

For goodness sake, if you're trying to recruit - be tall and proud and tell it as you see it: "god does not exist!"

I have some views on athiesm that I'd like to share, beacuse I fee they begin to debunk the greatest detractions thrown at it from deity based faith commentators.

By it's very nature, athiesm is opposed to deity based faith systems (formal or otherwise). Unfortunately beacuse of the propensity of persons of strong faith to argue athiesm from their religous point of view, understandably athiesm often has to make it's stand as challenges to widely accepted faith based 'givens'. There are fundamental differences which the debates address and the athiest will argue that they are illogical or have no real proof (of the scientific kind).

At it's core, athiesm realises life without deity (and all the mysteries dieties bring to the party). My feeling is that most ardent and well balanced/read athiests view religion as a natural human response to searching for answers and providing answers to 'all the big questions' - where there had been an absence of hard proof. There are many, many 'mysteries' that were covered in various religous texts throughout mankind that have been floored by later scientific discoveries. Athiesm admits there are still many things humankind does not know. The origin of life and how we humans became so distinct from the genetically similar yet amazingly different chimp spring to mind- but still, they do not ascribe any of this to diety.

On a different level too (and this is where this advert gets my back up a bit - because it just screams the opposite) athiesm does not reject family and societal values and systems. It does not propose anarchy or the destruction of the worlds faiths and cultures. It has in fact been proven in micro-societies (and I'll have to dig through my source material if you want citations) that these values and systems can exist in the absence of diety based faiths.

In the same vane many athiests, like their religous bretheren, are capable of benevolent acts and do good deeds throughout the world - furthering the advancement of the poorest of the poor or breaking ground with new and exciting research, that positively impacts the peoples of the world.

I believe true athiesm has been a leader in forging a wider acceptance of all of humankind than many religions have, and I don't think I need to go into a history of many of the worlds greatest deeds of human extermiantion to argue this.

Athiesm needs its day in the sun - just not on the side of a bus, not like this!

One Word

2009-02-18T08:24:00.005+02:00

Well Allie, (mother of the the infamous tag-jacker Mel-B) has tagged me. (Thank-you, thank-you. It means so much!)
This is fun, and not quite as easy as I'd thought, considering two of my favourite things are undeniably and in-escapibly more than one word. And for those I beg your understanding. :0>

Hoer'es how it works:
Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from and of course at least four others who hevn't been tagged yet (to the best of your knowledge)

1. Where is your cell phone?
pocket

2. Your significant other?
legend

3. Your hair?
gone

4. Your mother?
dead

5. Your father?
old

6. Your favorite?
ice-cream (liberty number one)

7. Your dream last night?
dunno

8. Your favorite drink?
Coffee (black filter, no sugar please - if I could be specific)

9. Your dream/goal?
bliss

10. What room you are in?
office

11. Your hobby?
music

12. Your fear?
loneliness

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?
hmmm?

14. Where were you last night?
Bed

15. Something that you are not?
straight

16. Muffins?
nope

17. Wish list item?
vineyard

18. Where you grew up?
bedfordview

19. Last thing you did?
tagging

20. What are you wearing?
clothes

21. Your TV?
sansui

22. Your pets?
almost

23. Friends?
valued

24. Your life?
busy

25. Your mood?
flat

26. Missing some one?
Clive

27. Car?
Bakkie

28. Something you're not wearing?
bra (LOL)

29. Your favorite store?
Look&Listen (liberty number two)

30. Your favorite color?
blue

33. When is the last time you laughed?
Tuesday

34. Last time you cried?
dunno

35. One place that I go to over and over?
work

36. One person who texts me regularly?
Clive

38. My favorite place to eat?
many!

39. My favorite food?
wholesome

40. What did you do today?
work (so far)

My taggee's are. (*drumroll please*)

The Running Golfer, Absolute Willie, The Purring Cat, Pierre and in re-ciprocation Allie (just so you know I've followed said instruction of course

Tagged and I survived it...

2009-02-17T16:28:00.007+02:00

I was tagged by Mel-B the other day. And today, without looking back at the full instructions, so a broken telephone syndrome may apply here...

If you have been tagged in this post you must do the following:
- You have to take a picture of yourself right now - YES, right now. No primping or preening! Just as you are...
- Tell a story with it if there is one (I think I just made that up ;0)
- Post and tag five other people who've not been tagged (to the best of your knoweldge anyway)

SO the story goes - I took a picture as I read the tag and then got a call followerd by someone who come to visit me here in the office (as happens when you're supposed to working) - so I forgot to get back to it.

So, Mel-B, as promised - but terribly delayed, here's my pic of me attempting to look busy at work. I'm afarid it's... not very glamorous hey!? I could have gone out to the greenhouses to make a pretty picture with flowers in the background - but I can't blog from there - and I tend to try and follow instructions verbatim - so at my desk it was!

I tag... hmm, let me see...

Rambler (I'll know if yours is a stock picture and will expose the fraud!! - *evil laugh* hehehe), Allie (since we seem to have gone quiet on each other), Mel-B (common - do it again), Hayley (your 1st tag from me), Pierre and last but not least (someone I've just found over on Ramblers side-bar and I'd like to follow, but can't quite figure out how too) Shiny

Anyway - I have so much good stuff going on at the moment, I should be blogging myself into a stupor, but almost every time I try to blog something happens to my internet connection - so blogging from my desk at work is rapidly becoming a big pain in the *insert appropriate body part* (put that thing away! - I meant figuratively! - LOL)

Oops - sorry 'about that - my sense of humour needs to crawl right back out of that stormdrain soon, before I get meself into trouble...

Fortunately, CV covered the most significant part in his recent blog 'Exhausted'... But reading it a little more closely now, I think I'm lucky I was spluttering enough to make Chitty-Bang-Bang proud with a nasal drip challenging Vic falls for top spot in Africa. It seems I managed to escape any snappiness that might have overcome him with all that hard labour.

I'm usually blessed with a gift for visualy figuring out how to place and pack things into tight spaces to optimise moving vehicles to the max. Moving ones self and freinds often enough will certainly hone that skill. But, that aforementioned cough, nose and perhaps some surplus effects from the preivious nights wine tasting, obviously led to some serious misapplication of my legendary spatial thinking abilities. With the move out of the way though, we've agreed: "NO matter what, we're not moving ever again unless there's a budget for a truck and men (or women) in overalls!"

It was a little more arduos than I had anticipated, but we survived it our relationship fully in tact ;0).

We're a couple of days into co-habitation and it's all going rather well. We've even managed to purge some of our "I just can't bare to let this go" stuff out of the door and into the hands of some grateful soul, although looking at my studio space, I think I have a bit more to get through unless I become a seriously fantastic interior designer (read: stasher of random stuff in ingenious ways).

Both of us have had to have a few changes in rhythm. CV's definately got the most change to deal with being in a new place and all, but one of the consequences of this is a genius manouvre on my part: I forgot my lunch at home today and when your office is out in the sticks, this is a problem.

I made a plan and I survived to tell the story.

Till my next post,
Ciao4Now

What's in a word?

2009-02-13T17:10:00.006+02:00

For anyone following Rambler's 'Twitter' updates and blog over the last few days, you'd have picked up about enough drama to make the writers of 'Brothers and Sisters' envious... I felt really bad for him as he had to deal with a breakup that thankfully did not include me in the firing line.

As a follow on, to my post, 'Somebody' on Sunday (geepers, has it been that long already!), you'll note I never used the 'E' word.

On Facebook, one's not that lucky - there are but a few relationship statuses; hmmm, or is that 'stati' - I never can be sure? - I digress!

So - I innocently changed my status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Engaged' to better describe where we had decided to take our relationship (CV knew about it beforehand of course) - and so the floodgates opened! We both were inundated with comments: comments on photo's, comments on status updates, 'wall-to-wall' messages and e-cards. There were even messages from people I've never met, and some folks to whom I've never come out to.

Now, in spite of an apparent desire to draw attention to ourselves (being a DJ or an Actor in CV's case requires one standing up in front of sometimes thousands of people and doing ones 'show'), I think it would be fair to say we were pretty much overwhelmed.

There have been two things that have stuck me though - women and gay men, in general have few problems with the idea of two guys being 'engaged'. Straight men on the other hand - do. Both my brother and dad are battling with the idea.

My dad's quizzed look at the ring on my finger (appreciate here that he's 82) and gentle words of 'assurance' and caution, spoke volumes between the lines, and my brother far less tactful told me about how he went to a friends wedding in the UK and how he thought it was weird. Now, not being a fool, I've picked up on their difficult in dealing with it. They're not the only one's of course, a lot of my male friends - some of whom I consider quite close - have not said a word. Make no mistake, I don't resent it, not one little bit. But, it has made me acutely aware that the concept of gay men being 'engaged' and by implication 'married' really is a difficult concept for a lot of people.

I've been 'out' since I was 25. Most of the guys I'm referring to have known since then. And, till now, I've never seriously picked up that they may have some issue - with gay relationships, crossing into the realm of straight relationships.

I'm not obviously gay - so for a lot of folks, the fact that I like guys much more than girls is not so difficult to handle. In fact, I've even imagined myself a poster-child for gay rights groups as 'so not the stereotype'. But, because I've largely averted any sense of bigotry that comes with being gay and the fact that we have the constitution we do, I think I'd be safe in saying I've felt somewhat disconnected to the gay-rights issue. Rambler has spoken at length about being and ex-ex-gay Christian and more recently about marriage - and I'll admit at times, even I've been just a little 'over' his very thought provoking discussions (after all, we do love to laugh don't we?).

For the first time in my life, I've glimpsed why gay people are so vocal and militant about rights. The silence from some quarters has hit me like... what cheezy line fits best here? Well, the silence hit me none the less.

Both CV and I feel the term "Engaged" is for straights (and I never use the word straights with mallice/stereotype in mind - it's just the opposite of gay). It's a religious word, wrapped up in pseudo-political robes and it's not one we're entirely comfortable using for now.

So, what's in a word? What word that better describes, two people, willingly entering into a long term committed relationship? What word better describes how they intend to hold onto their reationship for dear life and face the challenges together? What word makes one better aware that there will be times when your views differ so much that you'll have to work through them in order to keep it together?

What's in a word, I ask - what's in a word?

Somebody

2009-02-08T19:00:00.004+02:00

CV and I did a few things that were pretty mundane today, I registered to vote, we took the dogs for a walk, ambled through the mall and generally just enjoyed our Sunday as any couple might. But we did a few things out of the ordinary too.

I was always told, that when you've found your soul mate, you'll just know. And for some time now, I could think of nothing less - and ask for nothing more.

There's a beautiful song by Depeche Mode, that encapsulates it much better than I ever could. In fact, I even quoted from it when we spoke. Take a listen...

Today was also a very special day for us. Today, we said we'll be that somebody for each other.

I'm still smiling :0)

Swimming upstream...

2009-02-05T12:57:00.005+02:00

DISCLAIMER: This post in no way lays claim to any form of incompetence on my part, whether stated or implied. ;0)

There are times in my life when huge diversity in the scope of my work can be a little bewildering...

Right now I've been dealing with sporadic outbreaks of Verticilluim, which now seems to have actually been imported in the cuttings to our farm by the supplier. A pretty detailed breakdown of what that entails is in the link.

Then there's the little matter of our trade-mark application for the new logo and a minor accounting error on the attorneys part that needs to be resolved, but they seem to be incapable of rectifying (3 months in).

Then we have a relatively high tech shade cloth installation that was supposed to be done by 15 September, but it's still ongoing and frought with specification and installation problems - and now perilously close to litigation. So now the extensive correspondence to the sub-contractors, contractors and suppliers (in Holland) has to be very carefully worded.

In a similar vein; we're developing a revised irrigation system, which will help us increase our production per sqaure meter in the greenhouses AND delivery improved quality too. First off on that is a survey (and consequent drawings) of the current water reticulation system including pipe dimensions and materials.

Aside from that, we're busy with a number of 'innovations' to do with, night lighting (energy saving attempts) and temperature control (retrofitting) that are all being trialled at the same time, along with a research project on stem elongation during propagation in our Rooting Greenhouse.

Then there's the bane of my existence - the Spider Mite - which despite my attempts at a total chemical onslaught in order to control them have somehow seemed fruitless. I will post about Spider Mite one day (just not now, for fear of detracting from today's thread).

And of course there's the regular stuff around production planning, ordering and following up on Plant, Chemical and Fertilizer stocks, crop protection planning; labour relations; basic first aid (when required); keeping an eye on best (and sometimes not the best) practice; meeting customer flower demand (six months after having planned the production otherwise) and so on and so on.

With all this going on it can get a little confounding at times. Trying to allocate priorities helps a little, but there's almost always something or someone else that comes along and swallows a former priority, spits it out and re-directs an entire process.

Like the Rainbow Salmon, there're days when I don't quite manage to get anything completed, even if there's progress on many fronts. I can feel like I'm fighting against powerful currents from all directions. All in an efort to get to a non-descript and uncertain prize.

Make no mistake, I love the challenges of my day, and diversity beats the mundane hands down. But it's the little victories, like completing at least one item on my ever changing list of tasks and projects, that gives me a great sense of satisfaction.

It does still sometimes feel like I'm swiming upstream all the same. :0)

Ciao 4 Now

I love Galdys too!!!

2009-02-03T10:43:00.002+02:00

I was taking some time out and reading some of the blogs I follow. We all know that a good post title can lead one headlong into it. I personally find the intriguing ones most attractive.

Absolutwillie has a posting called 'I love Gladys'. What could this be about I thought - let me go have a look see. It's a clip from the Ellen show, but there's a declaration of faith that I found utterly and totally over the top.

Check it out - it's really quite sweet ;0)...

Ciao 4 Now

Give unto Caesar what is Caesars

2009-02-02T21:56:00.003+02:00

I just completed my tax return and I may even get a rebate this year - whoo hoo! It's not much, but I do take glee in the thought of the Reveiver paying me for a change.

As a political subtext, I often moan or am party to others moaning about the incompetencies of our local and national governments, the corruption and all manner of evils done in the name of politics.

But today - although I do not endorse any of their above mentioned failures, I must (as do we all who earn a salary to pay our way through life) give unto Caesar what's due... and then tell him about it - just to save him the trouble of having to check in too much detail.

Ah well, it's been too long a day to chew over this any more than I have. Good Night ;0)

Big water, little minds and things

2009-01-30T16:10:00.002+02:00

So Allie beat me to it, with a story more interesting than mine, but here goes anyway... (this comment makes alot more sense once one gets to the end of my post and then looks at Allies)

It's been raining the whole week. Flash floods have been reported far and wide with many a news headline to boot. In fact, just this morning, 702 carried the story of a man and his daughter who escaped with their lives through a sunroof after their car was washed off a water-swept low lying bridge. I always wonder why people in 4x4's think they can cross over bridges under water? I drive a big bakkie and would NEVER even contemplate it.

And yesterday, I had a delegate of supliers here from Holland and the chap driving them around told me how the low lying brigde on route to the farm was under water. I cautioned him and he smiled whilst pointing at his VOLVO AWD and said; "It's fine - I've got a good car."

All I could think was "You're a fool man - DAFT!", but instead said - "Beware of the power of water..." and promptly regailed him with two anecdotal stories about folks being washed of bridges in their high end "4x4's". I hope that sunk in a little.

I digress.... again!

With all the rain quite a few creatures get to play outside of their normal playgrounds. I was walking the crops yesterday (as I do quite regularly), focussed on the health of the young plants in the beds and looking for things like early markers of Verticillium and it's ulgy sister Fausarium.

There, nestled quietly, amongst the plants was a little critter. If it were any other situation, I think I may have walked right past him, because with the amazing camoflauge he's almost invisible. But I, less so invisible, towering over him like the tallest skyscaper would me, must have startled him and he moved.

I promptly whipped out my phone and went in to stealth mode, slowly crouching ever closer and speaking gently to him, asking him to sit still for a picture. I think the talking was more for my own benefit, but it can drown out the deafening thumping of the heart when we're focussed on a thing in absolute silence.

In any event after numerous attempts and some interesting but phyically challenging balancing manouvres, I managed to get the phone nice and close to take the shot.

Cute hey - and to think I would have missed it had I just been cruising through...

Ah!! It's amazing how sometimes the little things make one step back and wonder: "Just why do we spend so much time just cruising through to the next destination, instead of stopping to see the little frogs on the floor?"

TAGGED

2009-01-27T18:08:00.008+02:00

So I've been tagged by Rambler....

I obediently went to the 6th folder in my pictures folder and found this, the 6th picture....

Oh - this is such an exciting picture!! What yarn can I weave. What drama can I unfold before your eyes. Let me think for a moment... Eureka!!! Behold - my lyrical masterpiece:

The cuttings were bad.

We had to claim a credit.

This was the accompanying photo.

So with that dullness out the way - I took the liberty of searching a bit more:

Will the ninth folder, ninth picture do???

Date: 12 December 2007

Event: H2O

Venue: Wild Waters Complex, Boksburg, Gauteng

Time: Just after sunset

Subject: The Master producer / DJ - Fat Boy Slim (FBS), aka Pizzaman, aka Norman Cook, who produced amongst other things the hits 'Praise You' and 'Weapon of Choice' unfortunately the video embedding was disabled :( .

Anyway, back to the story... My landlord & friend JMcK convinced me that even though I was so over these big dance parties, this H20 was one not to be missed!! It was difficult to disagree.

He took to the decks at about 6pm that evening and from then the real party began. To my delight, every track was played from vinyl and his set was extremely diverse covering about 15 years of dance music.

I drank a tad too much, but thankfully was restrained enough not to loose my shoes / bag / shirt and goodness knows what else in the water, unlike my counterpart and our other friends.

The verdict: FBS was not a very technically good DJ - but boy did he get the crowd going!

Now, what am I supposed to do.... Tag six other people. I don't even know six other people in blog land!!!

Alrighty then - Allie, Mel-B, Shayne, Rambler, PurringCat and (the latest blog I follow) Absolutwillie are tagged... how do I inform them??

Verti-what?!?

2009-01-27T16:28:00.003+02:00

With a blog called Blooms and beats and the bits in between, one would have imagined that I'd spend a bit of time talking about Blooms and Beats. To date, all that's been served up is kind of like the peanut-butter and jam without the bread.

But, I spent today as a researcher. Searching for information on Verticillium (this is the Wikipedia link) or more specifically V. albo-atrum (this is the Britannica link). Now if any one out there likes gardening, put down your cup of tea and start making notes.

Verticillium, I was reminded, affects too many plants and trees to even start mentioning and we have a few beds in one of the greenhouses that have been affected. We'd love to treat the plants to make them better - but all the reports I found were very gloomy. In fact the one remedy went so far as tto say: "Remove the plant, roots and all and destroy it. If you're going to replant in the same space, wait three years and choose a plant that's resistant to Verticillium."

Three years - that can't be? I read it again to be certain and sure enough - that's what they said, "Three years" - they must be nuts!

Terribly disheartened by that news, I started ferreting through numerous books, databases and the web to find some short course remedies. I spent ages critically evaluating all the data on hand, some of it conflicting of course, seeking a solution that would allow us to replant when the beds fall due in about three weeks.

But before running away with myself a bit here, let me backtrack for those of you who actually are ready to take the aforementioned notes: Verticillium albo-atrum as the Wikipdeia link says in slightly fancier English than I'd care to use is a soil borne fungus. To date there are no certified remedies available and as mentioned before affects numerous trees and succulents. They forgot to mention tomatoes on that list.

A vicious little critter, V. albo-atrumit works it's way up the plants vascular system, often killing one side of the plant from the roots up. In succulents the leaves will often turn yellow and die back, hanging pathetically on the stem. And to make matters worse, it tends to strike in the latter stages of plant growth. Cool and damp conditions are the time to keep an eye out for it. The result is ultimately, how do I put this gently.... death.

Looking forward again, my intense research began to pay off as I started putting a remedy puzzle together.

I found an interesting research paper from the University of Florida, dating back to 1985. There appears to be some remedy in changing the pH of the soil. Dropping the pH of inoculated soil from 7.5 pH to 5.5 pH, reduced the incidence of the disease from 90% infestation to a meagre 17%. That kind of result makes one pay attention! If I ever have it at home, I'll have to consult my best gardening books / the greenie okes at the garden centre to see if there practical way to do it there.

Another suggestion came from a textbook by Ball Publishing, which suggested a fungicide drench. So we're also going to try and use Rovral Flo (iprodione) which is normally used as a foliar spray for Botrytis cineria (most commonly seen as pink spots on your rose blooms) as a drench in order to suppress the symptoms in plants we're not likely to remove. There seems to be no conclusive evidence that it'll work, but we figure it's worth a shot - rather than throwing away thousands of plants.

We're also going to get our hands on a chemical fumigant called Metam-sodium (Herbifume - from Plaaskem is one of the brand names). This 'safe' and easy to handle fumigant apparently kept the disease incidence as low as 7%.

The commercial growers the best remedies are Steam Sterilisation for which you need a boiler and a licence, or fumigation. For domestic growers (i.e: gardeners) few remedies exist - but there is some hope at hand.

Some practical tips are:

Loosing the plant is almost always inevitable, so the sooner it's removed and destroyed the better . DO NOT COMPOST the affected and try your best to remove all the roots. In fact burning is strongly suggested.
If the plant is in a pot, get rid of that soil, wash the pot thoroughly with bleach solution and rinse it well.
Cut ALL nitrogen rich fertilizers into the affected areas, but bolster the use of PHOSPHORUS based fertilizer in the immediate area.
If you're dealing with a garden bed try to find an economical way to drop the pH of the soil.
Herbifume may well be out of reach to the domestic user now that I think of it, but you'll never know if you don't ask... Obviously any fumigant will kill any plants in the ground.
Finally, select Verticillium resistant plants when you do replant. Your garden centre specialists should know which plants are safe.

So tomorrow is action day one. We get out drenching machine and a few watering cans and start drenching like crazy. After the harvest we'll fumigate the affected beds and after the next harvest we'll steam sterilize the entire greenhouse (an annual event). Here goes to getting rid of the Verticillium!!!!

Curiouser and curiouser

2009-01-26T15:47:00.004+02:00

(picture 'courtesy' of Disney)

It's been a very strange day today. So much so, I thought I'd write it down in the hope of getting it out of my system.

There's only one way to describe how I'm feeling right now: 'WIRED!!!!'

It's got me somewhat confounded 'cause I can't for the life of me figure out why. I've had no more coffee than usual and I haven't taken any medication.

Unfortunately I've also got all the side effects of consuming to much coffee or a handful of semi-legal diet pills...

I'm a bit hyperactive, fidgety, emotional and I dare say bordering on irrational - the only difference is my appetite is monstrous!!!

Any ideas!?!?!?!

The only thing that I can think of that's even remotely different from usual is I have had a couple of days of 'tapped' into my emotional side.

First there were two movies I saw this weekend: Apt Pupil and Happy Endings... to which I had unusually emotional responses, but for vastly differing reasons. Then there was a letter I wrote to an old friend, who I sense just needs someone to talk to and has no where to turn. All of which has been marked by dreams that have been remarkably vivid - including a scene in which I was playing baseball (don't ask, I couldn't tell you).

Then today, there was CV's intimation that being in Jozi has left him feeling torn. We've discussed it a number of times before, but today I got a little weepy when I got his e-mail about it and read the subsequent post.

And finally - just a few moments ago, I lost my cool. I won't go into details other than to say that if I had a penchant for violence, someone would have been hurting right now.

Could it be that being around people that are naturally more emotionally involved in their daily lives is causing me to be the same? If I were in a bar, I'd be boldly declaring that someone spiked my drink!

How curious!!!

Anyway, I'm going to head off to gym and do some cardio till I can't anymore - hopefully that'll settle me down. A long chat with CV will probably help to... ;0)

LOST

2009-01-24T07:05:00.004+02:00

For those of you who love TV series - I hear Season 5 of LOST has started airing in the States. My freind JoneS is beside himself with anticipation. But that's not what this post is about.

This is about losing stuff. It drives me round the bend when I loose stuff. It's irritating, especially since I'm very good at perpetually only losing specific 'classes' of items.

Keys, cellphones and wallets are all safe with me - but give me a 'flash drive', data card or an ID book - and I'll loose it.

In the past three years I've been through as many ID books and no less than six Flash Drives.

The other day, I brought the SD card for my digital photo frame to work so I could load up selected pictures from the recent holiday CV and I took to Cape Town and Fanschhoek. I even went so far as renaming the specific pics on the card, so that the pictures would be displayed in some kind of meaningful order.

As I was leaving work to go home (via the gym), I made a point of picking it up and even thought to myself, I should pop this tiny little thing into the USB hub thingy I've got. Of course, I got momentarily distracted and not only did I not pop the card into the USB hub - but I have no cooking clue where I put the damned thing!

Replacing it is not an issue - a 1GB card comes in at less than R100.00. It's the fact that I lost the thing in the 1st place that gauls me - and now the digital photo frame is back to square one - BLANK. Argh!

Chances are I'll stumble upon it again some time in the distant future and be overjoyed - but for a short while to come, I'll be irritated by this inconvenience.

As a footnote, it's an election year - I've managed to hold onto my current ID for the past few months - lets see how I fare till then.

Oh my THUNDER!!

2009-01-23T16:16:00.006+02:00

Picture the scene, Sicily 1922... Ok, now that the Golden Girl fans have done that - scrap it altogether ;0)

After all my commentary about the wind in Cape Town, I'm forced to concede that Jozi has been having a bit of a tempestuos time herself since I got back. It's been cool, overcast and rather like - London in the Summer, I guess (I`ve not been there yet) - but with one notable difference. The Highveld Thunderstorm.

So picture then this scene, Bapsfontein farmland, 2009 - It's about one o'clock in afternoon and I'm quietly preparing my wholesome low everything lunch of lean meat, veggies etc. There are no decent shops (and consequently temptations) nearby.

Anyway, I digress. The clouds off to the west are ominously dark and threatening, but seem to be about an hour away. Then, quite suddenly the wind picks up something crazy and within minutes, it's bucketing down, at nothing less than 50 degrees off vertical - so much so that visibility dropped to less than 10meters and I had to close the windows for fear of them blowing out the frames.

And then, almost as swiftly as it belw in, it was over - just in time to go back to work!

Out on the farm here, it's pretty flat. The wind can get mighty nasty and storms are (quite litterally) electrifying. I have some pics of a storm brewing earlier this year that shows the kind of stuff that brews out here in Bapsfontein - here's one of them.

Beautiful don't you think?

I do love the highveld for her Summer storms!

Back to work :(

2009-01-21T22:47:00.004+02:00

Sadly our holiday's come to an end...

I'm back in Jozi, which is presently being lashed by the wonder of a Highveld thunderstorm, with complimenting (but now all to familiar) high winds.

I've started drafting Blown Away Pt2, but will have to leave it till the weekend, when I've got more time to re-size a whack of pictures that go with it...

Good bye Cape Town, it was a pleasure getting to know you better.

Blown Away

2009-01-21T06:39:00.012+02:00

There are a number of things that have struck me on this little get away. I hope to get them all down on 'paper' before too long and there's definitely more parts to this post still brewing...

One of the first things I picked up on was the 'South Easter' that has prevailed from the time I set foot in Cape Town and has not let up since. I spotted Cape Argus headline declaring "Winds batter Cape Town" on one of our drives around town on Monday, so there is some solace in knowing that it's obviously usually not sustained for this long.

As a Jobur'g boy, I associate this kind of wind with exceptionally cold fronts in winter, so if I were driving through the area and never got out the car - the dry vegetation and strong winds would lead me, by default, to bundle up with at least three layers before exiting the car. It's a bit of a mind warp, to say the least.

Almost every tree is more dense on one side and the stems on the Agapanthus I've seen seem to be on steroids! I think I now understand why the endemic vegetation is so darned different to the rest of the country.

Maybe my jaded Jozi ways make me less inclined to see the hospitality of some of the gestures I've seen, or perhaps it's my overly pragmatic approach these things, but the locals all seem to take personal responsibility for The Cape Doctor. Now, unless there's a huge affinity for baked beans and broccoli in the region - I can't for the life of me think why they'd apologise for the winds. Perhaps we Gautengalengers have embedded a perception that all we could do in Cape Town is sit on the beaches a soak up every last ounce of solar radiation that we can. One and a half hours on a private deck was sufficient for me than you very much!

There's tons of stuff to do here. The fact that CV and I must have spent a total of 15 minutes on the beach at Hout Bay in an experience mildly akin to sandblasting has made this holiday no less enjoyable. We have spent time at so many wonderful places and engaged with so many amazing people, the wind although omnipresent was the least of my worries. I've had a wonderful time and leave considering retiring into a career of viticulture near Franschhoek, nestled amongst the majestic mountains in this area - I just gotta come check it out in the darkest depths of winter.

The fairest Cape has won a place in my heart this week, I've been quite literally been blown away!

Something about storytelling (pt2)...

2009-01-20T07:44:00.007+02:00

When I started DJ'ing in the mid nineties I kept telling people how it had changed the way I would listen to music forever. As a House DJ, listening to music for the mix became a multi-layered affair.

First there was the TEMPO: Seamless mixing requires that the two tracks being played are perfectly beat matched - so they can be played over each other without sounding like the 'charge of the light brigade'.

Then there was KEY: As a person with no real proper music training, key mixing remains an elusive wonder. Sometimes I get it and sometimes not. But essentially each song or track has it's own key. And as you know if two keys do not compliment each other, perfectly mixed songs will sound off.

And finally there's TRACK SELECTION and PLACEMENT: This is the 'art' of it. Reading a crowd and taking them on a musical journey that stirs emotions and in the context of a dance floor - brings everyone together to a place of mass bliss! If it's done right, the dancers on the dance floor feed off the DJ's energy and in turn the DJ feeds off the response of his audience in a cycle of reciprocal enjoyment.

To this day, even when I'm making one of those compilations CD's for my car, I still make a significant effort to get a sort of musical journey in the track placement - it's a more personal journey usually - but a journey nonetheless.

Here's a sample of a mix I did last year - all be it a promo for an event with four different dance floors - I think it gives you an auditory sample of the basics described above. (NOTE: I did the audio only, and lay NO claim to the amazing video...)

In my first ever blog I spoke about how I thought storytellers are special because they're able to "recount the seemingly mundane events of daily life and and etch lively textured images on my minds eye".

Becoming a blogger has been like that journey into music. I'm no longer just living each day as it comes. I'm actually making an effort to look at the details. Each day, has it's own TEMPO, KEY and PLACEMENT on the tapestry of my life. I'm seeing things in an entirely new light, so much so that at this point, I feel like the simple decision to blog has quite simply changed the way I view life forever.

Obviously the fact that I'm on a Holiday makes for boodles of good 'material'. And there's a three part summation of the holiday brewing in my head, which is why there's no 'story' today. ;0)

I have no idea if my zeal for finding the 'story' will be as great when I get back into the daily grind of growing flowers, managing labour and such. But I'm pretty certain, that even if the daily routine of things does somewhat overwhelm at times - I will still be searching for little snippets to make each day it's own - rather than one bundled mass of days, weeks, months an years.

So this post goes with special thanks to Rambler, Allie and Mel, who in their own way (but without ever demanding it) have inspired me to find the TEMPO, KEY and PLACEMENT of each day in the mix of my own life.

Chasing Shadows

2009-01-19T08:02:00.012+02:00

CV and I finally got to spend some time catching rays beside the semi-private splash pool en-suite, but he's got the scoop on those details - so catch his blog.

So with a very good sun block on hand (chest, face and legs), we ventured out into the sun, pleased that the walls enclosing the patio helped keep the howling winds at bay. I grabbed my book - a frivolous novel revolving around the Hollywood entertainment industry - and promptly plopped myself onto the deck chair hoping to erase my farmers tan and balance the hues of my lily white shoulders and chest to my far darker forearms.

It didn't take long. A mere hour and a half later, three layers of that cream I now reluctantly call sunblock down and I was starting to feel a little toasty. I retreated into the suite to don a T-shirt and my boardies. But alas I was too late! That slight red hue I observed on my thighs and abdomen was later to reveal itself as my impersonation of a lobster - with a ridiculous white stripe!!!

Sunburn is NOT my friend, and he does come to visit at the most inopportune moments. I can deal with the stinging that follows every movement when the fabric of whatever I'm wearing brushes over my skin and I can even deal with the need to hyper-moisturise to avoid the inevitable reptilian shedding to follow.

What kills me though, is this sad fate: For the rest of our time here in the fairest Cape, I'm going to have to spend my time chasing shadows, ducking the wickedly enticing sun to avoid any further damage...

Sleeping in..

2009-01-18T08:00:00.012+02:00

I'm presently on a little getaway in the greater Cape Town area. I'm generally an early riser and CV's... um... well lets say there's times he'd like to be the spokesman for Slumberland. Anyway, when the dawn throws the first slivers of light through the curtains of a room, my body reacts like a good farmers should and I wake up. Six hours is about all I need to feel fresh and ready for just about anything.

Make no mistake there're times I regret that. There have been times I'd rather lie in and let the day slowly pass by - alas, I can't. My back gets a little sore, and I'll toss and turn and then in the interests of preserving our relationship and his good nature, I'll have to get out of bed so he can carry on sleeping.

Right now is a case in point. I'm perched precariously on the top of the bunk bed, merrily typing up this post in the second room of our suite, whilst he tops up on his good nature in the king size next door.

I mean how many people can there be in life that have perfectly synched body clocks that they'll wake up within seconds of each other both looking and feeling like a million bucks. Life is not a Sealy advert after all! When you're in your own home, you can plan around the sounds you know you'd make, oil the hinges and pad the door frames, wear your sheepskin pantoffels inside out - so you can glide over just about anything. But in a hotel suite it's different. You're in a foreign space and they never seem to take the potential for wildly differing sleep patterns into consideration into the design brief.

So there I was at 6:20 a.m. padding as quietly as I could around the room looking for a way to quietly sneak outside for a cigarette and find a place to write. Desperately trying not to wake my slumbering partner seemed to be a fruitless plan. My feet sounded like stone crushers on the carpets, the tumblers on the door lock like a jackhammer and the door handles creaked with the intensity of a rushing train of an action sequence presented 5.1 Dolby digital surround. So when I made it back into the room and he asked me why I'm waking him up a sheepish; 'Sorry' had to suffice.

I'm not complaining of course - I don't regret being an early riser. My creative energies are at their peak and I do my best writing and music production early Sundays. And anyway there's far more to relationships than sleep. It's just that when I'm out of my personal space, I notice these things far more acutely, 'cause I don't have any plans laid out and my coffee machine a good few walls aways from the bed unlike this suite.

As a bachelor, it's easy: wake up, get out of bed, do breakfast and get on with whatever I'd like to. But the moment there're other body clocks involved in the same time and space, a special effort needs to be made to make to preserve. That of course means the sanity of those slumbering around me and of course myself - from grievous bodily harm.

Well, that's not entirely true, I suppose. My friends with young kids would be laughing at me talking about the wonders of sleeping in - 'cause young kids show very little mercy for their parents need for sleep.

This terrible misfortune of not being able to sleep in has 'plagued' me for years. I recall being on a school camp a million years ago and promptly waking up the the crack of dawn, declaring the wonder of the morning to my fellow campers. Without digressing too much, let's say I was on the receiving end of a bit of schoolboy abuse. So from that day all those years ago, I learnt that my zest for life in the early part of the day is shared by few and I should never ever aim to include the sleepers in my early morning routines.

It's now nearly three hours after sunrise and the pumping wind of the past few days seems to have died ever so slightly. The sun's shining and I'm starting to itch to get going. I lie, the need for another smoke is already starting to gnaw at me. I think it's time to try to gently raise a sleeping beauty from his slumber...

Something about storytelling...

2009-01-17T08:04:00.022+02:00

It's always amazed me how some people can remember the little details of a conversation weeks ago, or manage to recount the seemingly mundane events of daily life and etch lively textured images on the minds eye. I call these people 'the Storytellers'.

To date, I don't consider myself one of those people, not because I don't think I can write - I think I can... Sadly, it's because I can barely remember what happened 5 minutes ago - never mind tell the story.

I recently became involved with a wonderful man who's been inspirational in more ways than one, blogging included. In engaging with him and some of his fellow bloggers that I've met on our recent travels, I've drawn the conclusion that a good 'story' is about picking out the details of our daily lives and finding something more than simple recounting of events. Unlike our dear local paper 'journalists' who weekly, will provide me with numerous fine examples (and I use that with some reservation) of painfully simple event recounting.

Of late, CV's been talking about some rather deep issues and in the past few day's I've heard comments like: "I've been following your blog, your last post made me cry." and; "I never saw it like that, it's completely changed my view on the subject."

I shan't steal his thunder on the matter 'cause we come from vastly different points of departure on the subject and I could never present it quite so elegantly anyway. But, you can (and really should) read more about it here.

And so with my 'keyword' for the year being FOCUS, I've finally decided to start a blog. Inspiration will be provided in abundance by whatever happens in the coming days weeks and years, fueled by a constant supply of creative energy on tap from my partner and whatever I'm reading at the moment may help me keep it at least vaguely interesting.

I guess a bit of 'copycat' writing styles may be dotted throughout. But hey - who gives a flying duck anyway it's not a competition. It's my blog, which I'll style how I want to. ..