Joburg Winters have their own beauty... really

Rambler had a little gripe about the cold and I commented saying it had just given me an idea for a post. I know some people that laugh at our gripes about Gauteng's cold. Minus 5 degree centigrade is but a walk in the park for them. My sister who lives somewhere in the Midwestern United States sends us her winter updates of minus Fahrenheit temperatures (something closer to -20 deg Centigrade) and multiple feet of snow!!!

A couple of years ago we also had a spot of snow.






In truth it was more of a very thick frost and bitterly cold. But every year we have frost out at the farm. Some years it's from as early as late March. This year we were 'lucky'. ANd I use that terms as reservedly as one can. The early winter was actually quite mild, until a few weeks ago. Then a nasty little cold front came trundling through and quashed my dream of a blamy winter...


I got an SMS the other day informing that the writer had seen frost... I assumed this was his first time seeing frost this winter and howled with laughter. I'm usually out and about long before sunrise, so I've been seeing frost since May. Granted, it's farm land, in a valley - which makes cold and frost a certain fact of winter mornings. It's easier walking through the greenhouses on winter mornings though. Our climate control systems try to maintain temperatures of 18 degrees Centigrade ably assisted by up to three coal fired boilers. Walking between them is little more challenging.


Winter on the highveld is a dusty affair. The air is often thickened by the smoke of hectares worth of veld fires. But the charred remains of some cows unfinished grazing land makes for a wonderful sight in the morning. Our blackened landscape is momentarily cast as a winter wonderland decked in a wafer thin layer of dazzling white ice. When I walk around outside to the irrigation dams, the tiny crystals of frozen dew glisten in the first rays of sunlight catching my eye time and time again. It makes my heart sing a tiny joyful song. Ok - the joyful song is bit of a stretch because my brain is usually as numbed by the cold as my toes and nose are - but you get the picture.


Late afternoons, with their impossibly rapid sunsets are often hazy. The dust, thrown up by the wheels of numerous trucks and cars on the dirt roads around us, hangs thick in the air - leaving my windscreen hopelessly dusty and me slightly dis-vantged. But it makes for the most incredible sunsets. I'm often greeted by crimson horizons that fade into a darkening bronze haze on the way home in the afternoon, and so long as I stay within the confines of my heated bakkie (pick-up) it really can be a beautiful sight.


But it's nearly August and at the back of my mind, even firmly in the grips of winters gnarled, dry grasp, there's the certainty of Spring, now palpably around the corner. New growth is being primed in the trees and veld around me. Within a few weeks there will be spots of colour as the first brave blossoms peep from the branches of various indigenous veld trees and the fruit orchards. Fields of corn will be planted by farmers on their enormous tractors and the germinating seedlings will transform the tilled red earth of those barren fields into endless rows of tiny green sprouts that will gain inches weekly, eventually obscuring my now panoramic horizon view to a few short meters before being met by a wall of fresh green growth.


Until then of course - I'll battle through, looking for those spots of beauty on bitterly cold mornings, hoping we're not blasted by too many frigid winds that make the sunlight deceivingly inviting.


Ciao for now.

A bit about meme...

Thanks to Allie for INSISTING that I complete this meme. :0)}

Quite honestly, it looks like it's going to be a little more difficult to complete than doing a web surf for topical links to post - but fortunately less so than something requiring more than a little research and fact checking.... Anyhoo..... Here goes.

I am: a reasonable, logical but passionate guy.... I think

I have: a distinct dislike for cold weather and short days.

I know: more than I think sometimes, and far to little at others.

I don't think: therefore I am... Hmm, somehow that doesn't sound right - hehe. Seriously though, I don't think about the consequences of my actions sometimes. But mostly - I actually over think.

I want: my chance already!

I have: a good enough memory to know that I've answered this already!

I like: Ice cream and dark chocolate... no actually I love those things. I like coffee.

I dislike: brussels sprouts and condensed milk... and no - that's not in combination you silly you - I dislike them both - equally.

I hate: oh - I didn't see this... Scrap the point above. I hate brussels sprouts! Condensed milk can stay as a dislike.

I dream: but I'll be dammed if I can remember them

I fear: angle grinders and high voltage power lines

I am annoyed: when people can't see the logic of a thing - even if it's explained again and again and again... argh!

I crave: (cigarettes) occasionally, but not so much anymore.

I usually: eat breakfast before showering in the morning.

I search: incessantly for answers to things I want to understand

I hide: most of my fears rather well. (I think)

I wonder: why I like to sing songs that don't exist

I know: I've answered this already!

I just can't help: going gaga for superheroes and superhero movies unless they're really really bad.

I regret: sheesh - nothing jumps out at me - so I guess, I regret nothing - YET.

I love: CV, more than rainbows, teddy bears and cu... oops that's an 'in joke' - never mind.

I can't live without: water, food and fresh air and... mah man

I try to: drive conscientiously, but am not all that good at it.

I care about: CV

I enjoy: a good laugh and listening to the layers in music

I don't care: about personal wealth too much - so long as I can live in some comfort

I always: want tell my CV how much I love him...

I never want to: have to use and angle grinder. I'll rather pay someone to do that.

I rely on: people around me to be sincere.

I believe: what I believe... and some might call that not believing. But it takes some faith for me to 'not believe' too.

I dance: when I'm 'cheerful' or when the musics good. Even if I make an ass of myself!

I sing: to our dogs. Ok mostly I sing to Lola, Pablo seems uninmpressed - at work - in the shower - with the radio - hmm - come to think of it - I sing a lot. I may not be good, but I sing anyway.

I argue: passionately if I know what I'm talking about and I have a view to express

I write: because I think I can... never mind what anyone else thinks.

I win: is this a trick question? I never enter anything - so I guess I can't win then, or can I??

I loose: lots of little things but hardly ever my keys, mobile phone or wallet

I wish: I wasn't so paranoid about if my car is locked when I walk away from it in the a parking lot. I lock it about 6 times, every time... argh!

I listen: If I think I need to.

I don't understand: why it takes so long for my computer to boot up in the morning

I'm scared of: angle grinder blades spinning off the grinder and causing serious harm.

I forget: a lot of things... all the time. OH!! It's the 15th today... I nearly forgot.

Hope you had fun reading about meme. If you want to hijack this and do it yourself - go for it. No nominees from my side - I'm one of the last in the 'group' to do it.

CIAO4NOW

Real life journalled... for anyone who's interested

'Tis been very very very very cold of late. This morning it was a frigid -5 deg C outside one of our greenhouses! Blegh. Even when it's that cold I find cause to sing, all be it the lyrics go: "My toes are froze - and so is my noze." (to a source tune I can no longer recall). And now, to top it all off, the daytime highs are reeeeedicewlouly high. It's over 25 deg today. I can't plan a workday wardrobe around this!!! THIS IS CRAZY STUFF!!!!



Anyway, I've been so bleedingly hectic the past couple of weeks that I didn't get a chance to squeeze in even a 'cheat post' last week.



There's that saying: 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'

I'm reclaiming that: 'When life gives you curveballs, somethings gotta go out of the park'.



I can't say too much right now other than things are a tad topsy turvy at work at the moment, but I have both an uphill battle and a rapidly strengthening strategic position developing. So the out of the park phrase, for those not familiar with baseball, refers to either going out (a biiiig negative) or of course the famous home run... I think I'm on the verge of a potential home run - but I've yet to have the ball pitched at me.



There's also the gathering pace of mine and CV's wedding plans. We've appointed our best men. And they've been so briliant already!! Tomorrow evening we're off to confirm our booking at the venue (I hope). The venue is our mutual favourite and it would be a huge shame not to get things on the go there. We love you CD!!!



To day has flown by like a busy Monday - but TGIF!!!! All I need to do now is leave my office on time for a change so I can get the shops to get a haircut and buy some sorely missed moisturiser. Highveld winters wreak havok on my skin!



With any luck - I'll be able to find a gap to post something deep and thought provoking in the milieu of my 'goings on' pretty soon. Otherwise it'll be the odd blob - now and then.



Ciao4Now

Friday mumblings

It's a busy line-up this weekend:

There's a smashing 3rd place play off against a bunch of Spaniards. I believe Wimbledon is on the go, which is also smashing I'm told...

I have a dinner this evening with one of CV's old school buddies and his partner of ten years... I'm really looking forward to that - ;0)!


Then there's my future-sister-in-law's engagement party (ring in with strains of Zorba the Greek, whilst dodging breaking crockery and back light with Uzo). Whoop-whoop! or is that Opah!! Anywayy, what would mumbling on this Friday be without mentioning Michael Jackson, the thrilling moon walker who re-shaped pop, by crossing over between black and white (musically and otherwise) in the late seventies and early eighties...


I was browsing the worlds news channels gauging 'the wires' on the passing of MJ. I could lay on a homage - but there are plenty of obituaries already doing the rounds. What can I say other than: Sheesh - he was ONLY 50!!! His music is definitely a part of the soundtrack to my life. And, me thinks in many ways he really was a tortured soul. RIP-MJ.


And whilst bumbling through those sites I found this sight about a guy who does art (at £1000 a pop mind you) on egg cartons..... It really is amazing. If anyone knows this artist personally, please let him know I have a room that still needs an egg carton treatment. I'll supply the cartons...

And on that wacky note. I bid thee a happy (and gay if you're that way inclined) weekend!


Ciao4Now

PS - my goodness, blogging's much easier when you're playing a hyperlinking continuity writer... lol!

a cause to pause

My friends mother passed away yesterday. It was sudden and somewhat unexpected and their grief is palpable.

One of their Facebook status updates was: 'never again is such a long time'. It's an eloquent expression of the vacuum her mothers passing will leave. I've never felt that kind of vacuum before - and as I read her status update for the first time I felt deeply for her in her time of loss. I've been given cause to pause.

Today, I'm saddened for those who have just lost someone near and dear. Although I never met her, I'm deeply aware that she must have been a remarkable mother. I know this, because my friends all seem to express themselves in a way that is so genuine; from the heart. And when they smile, you can see something in their eyes - a 'goodness' in their souls.

It seems to me, that it is only through the deep love of a parent, that these qualities can emerge so consistently in so many people all at once. And even though she is gone today - her legacy of love will be felt through them and passed onto their children and their children's children.

I woke up this morning and was distracted from the small things I'm sweating. When my own mortality rises like a spectre of the future before me, I'm mindful of how brief our time here is in the grand scheme of things. I can't help but wonder where I will be and what I will have achieved when I go? Will I have found my dream and lived it?

And then I must ask, does any of that matter? What good is it to have lived the dream or scaled seemingly insurmountable heights to achieve 'greatness'?

Surely it is that the lives of those we've touched are the better for it? Surely we have not lived unless we have truly loved and been loved. It's those connections of love that have the most meaning for those who are left behind.

If that is the mark of a life well lived, then it seems hers was: A life well lived.

"There's a big difference between being gay and being a fag"

With roughly a week remaining before a 40th anniversary I didn't know too much about until a few weeks ago, I thought it fitting to write on something that I've been mulling over. This post was first conceived on 29 May, 2009 after an acquaintance posted a status update that was 'a last straw' of sorts....

I've never really felt truly exposed to rampant homophobia before. You know the kind that might make the news because a violent assault and/or a gang rape left the victim, at the very least, severely traumatised but often comatose or dead. I've heard of these things but tend; shall we say; to 'shelve' them with all the other bad stuff that goes on around us.

I live in a country ridden by some extremely violent and senseless crimes and so, for me, acts of pure hatred tend to get lumped together. Make no mistake though, gay bashing, when it is reported results in the same gut wrenching reaction as when I hear about babies being raped and murdered. To date though, they remain in some sort of disconnected otherworld - because I have never been directly affected by such violence.

There are many levels of homophobia, in the same way there are many levels of sexism, racism and other forms of bigoted thinking.

I've recently been becoming more aware of my gay self within a 'straight' society. And whilst I do prefer to think of myself first as human rather than gay, I am never the less in a state of heightened awareness of my differentness within it. Which gets me to the kernel incident that got me into this post:

When Manchester United recently lost the UEFA Champions League. The aforementioned acquaintance posted a Facebook status update: "...Barcelona is a bunch of fags and we probably lost because of the distraction of them touching our boys' ........"

I saw this and was compelled to comment: "hmmm.... I prefer to call 'em Dirty Spaniards?"

Her reply was a quick apology including: "there's a big difference between being gay and being a fag", which has now become the title of this post.

I don't mean to pick on her directly. This is not the first time I've heard this kind of argument.

I was recently floored when straight counterpart used the word faggot to describe a florist we know.

As with this or many other offensive words for all manner of people, most would just apologise and retract the statement - knowing they've crossed that line of political correctness. Fortunately, I was able to gain some insight because of our relationship and that I was able to turn my battle brain off. I had to question his thinking.

His response was astounding: "I've got no problem with you and gays like you, but I've got a problem with faggots!"

"WTF!!", I thought - not quite aloud. I was angered by what he said. But reining in my emotions, I retorted, "But I am a 'faggot'. I may not be the most effeminate gay guys around, but - I'm still very much a gay man." My emotions now momentarily shelved, I requested more insight.

He responded along the lines: "You're still like, a man. Fags are those queeny limp wristed types... It's like they're putting on a show or something. They weren't all faggoty before they came out - but now they running around like men who wanna be women?" His logic was there is a difference between being gay and being a faggot!

Even though I was still offended, I had to stand down as I contemplated his response.

We call carry prejudices. I know I do - even though I fight them. Just how pervasive is this type of thinking? In this scenario, is what was said 'homophobia' at all? Is it bare faced bigotry? Or is it an essentially 'harmless' expression about a stereotype.

For those who have met me, I think you'll know that I generally did not relate well to particularly effeminate men. That's changed somewhat since I've met some truly fabulous but genuine individuals. I won't lie though, in my core I just can't reconcile extreme femininity and transgerderism within myself.

I discussed this with CV the other day, because I didn't know how to express the multitude of emotions I was feeling about this. As the discussion evolved, it became clear to me. To be uncomfortable with people we don't fully understand is a totally human reaction and it should be embraced. It's how we respond to that discomfort and carry it into our words and actions that draws the fine lines between bigotry and tolerance.

My 'battle' as a gay men, is for people to relate to my humanity - and hopefully in some small change the way people see us. To see past the stereo types. I enjoy many human rights that people like me in more 'advanced' democracies do not enjoy. But although we're have many legal equalities does not mean we are accepted as equals.

My experiences and conversations clearly show me we have a long way to go to rid our world of homophobia and other forms of bigotry. Sadly, I think the gods honest truth is we'll never get rid of all of it. But each of us must own up to our prejudices. In some way we must stand up and account for them. I know I need work towards to a better understanding of everyone I feel different from, not through evasion or pretence, but through staring those differences in the face and making a conscious decision to break free of the misconceptions that feed our bigotry.

And so, as I celebrate and commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and the birth of the modern PRIDE movement, I have found my rally cry:

"I am human. I am man. I am gay and I am proud of all of me. Know me as a person, before you put your labels on me! And I shall do the same for you."

Ciao4Now

A scholar and a gentleman..

In a follow up to yesterdays musings on fame and celebrity, I must just say that either Mr Van Der Ruit is a very good actor or he is a genuinely funny and very down to earth guy.

He is of course an actor, but our interaction with him last night was totally enjoyable. H's funny, and tweaked our interest with some very 'saucy' tidbits of plans for Spud 4 and the forthcoming movie.

In a few respects it felt like a 'school reunion' or sort, 'cause almost every guy there was seemingly a high powered professional from one or other prestigious boys school.

Speaking of reunions - have a look over at Ramblers latest posting on reunions. Have a great weekend everybody!!! I've got a hectic one lined up - lots of birthday's all around..

Ciao4Now