My friends mother passed away yesterday. It was sudden and somewhat unexpected and their grief is palpable.
One of their Facebook status updates was: 'never again is such a long time'. It's an eloquent expression of the vacuum her mothers passing will leave. I've never felt that kind of vacuum before - and as I read her status update for the first time I felt deeply for her in her time of loss. I've been given cause to pause.
Today, I'm saddened for those who have just lost someone near and dear. Although I never met her, I'm deeply aware that she must have been a remarkable mother. I know this, because my friends all seem to express themselves in a way that is so genuine; from the heart. And when they smile, you can see something in their eyes - a 'goodness' in their souls.
It seems to me, that it is only through the deep love of a parent, that these qualities can emerge so consistently in so many people all at once. And even though she is gone today - her legacy of love will be felt through them and passed onto their children and their children's children.
I woke up this morning and was distracted from the small things I'm sweating. When my own mortality rises like a spectre of the future before me, I'm mindful of how brief our time here is in the grand scheme of things. I can't help but wonder where I will be and what I will have achieved when I go? Will I have found my dream and lived it?
And then I must ask, does any of that matter? What good is it to have lived the dream or scaled seemingly insurmountable heights to achieve 'greatness'?
Surely it is that the lives of those we've touched are the better for it? Surely we have not lived unless we have truly loved and been loved. It's those connections of love that have the most meaning for those who are left behind.
If that is the mark of a life well lived, then it seems hers was: A life well lived.
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Thanks Frank, this means so much. She touched so many people's lives when she was alive, and it seems she continues to do so even thogh her physical body has failed her.
ReplyDeleteNow that Celeste has commented, I want to too. Firstly, I really do think this is an incredibly beautiful post. Such insight, sensitivity and depth. And, sucha beautiful tribute to the girls and their mom. Life is all about who you leave behind, and, I agree, if you leave behind a legacy of lives that have been loved, you've lived well.
ReplyDeletethanks for the comments.. I don't have to much to add other than I call it as I see it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, @Celeste - I know you're strong and carrying a lot right now. My thoughts are with you.
Ciao4Now
I find that we tend to go through stages, as ultimately life goes through stages. Maybe it's just me but there are times when I'm surrounded by birth, birth of babies, birth of relationships, etc.. and then there are times when I'm surrounded by death.
ReplyDeleteWhile death is never easy and often painful it is one of those cycles you need to work through in order to get to the other side.
(note to self: I've ben posting really deep comments on Fridays lately.)